Day: August 24, 2010

Eat My Sports: The most underrated rivalry in sports

Let me start this off by saying that it’s 9:30 at night, I just got home from work, and the only reason I’m writing about a rivalry is because I promised myself I would. I am not going to write about the Red Sox claiming Johnny Damon off of waivers from the Tigers, or how even in a lost season this is not the sort of move you make for a guy who stabbed your city in the back, MUCH LESS one who is a season removed from a World Series title with the Yankees. I won’t write about how Theo Epstein is making me question how much of a “genius” he is claimed to be, no, because quite frankly I don’t think we have the blog space to support all the four-letter words I could throw into one column.

Now, on with the show.

The term “rivalry” is thrown around a lot in sports. Mostly in situations where there isn’t even a hint of one in place. Most people mistake rivalry for repitition. Just because the Giants and Redskins play each other twice a year doesn’t make it a rivalry, it just means that you’re in the same division.

I tend to define a rivalry as a power struggle between two teams, with the pendulum swinging back and forth to each side equally, with both sides fighting to achieve the same highs, experiencing the same lows, and always coming down to a dividing point in the middle that is a struggle and hatred because the two teams are mirror images of each other.

Ladies and gentlemen: New England Patriots vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. Continue reading Eat My Sports: The most underrated rivalry in sports

Somebody finally figured it out

You know what’s a bad idea? When you have a museum and you let people touch your artifacts (which also sounds like a pickup line a curator might use). Just such a thing happened at a museum in Key West, Florida, where people were allowed to touch a gold bar.

Somebody got it out and made off with it. We blame those “INVEST IN GOLD NOW!!!” ads on Fox News.

[Thanks A+A]

Only 112 days until Hypothermia Season!

For decades, retailers have moved Christmas earlier and earlier each year. Well, this is a recession, which means failing stores don’t get to set our calendar anymore. And who’s the only recession-proof industry? Medicine.

Which is why it is important that you panic about sledding injuries right now.

No, seriously. Drop whatever it is you’re doing that may be seasonally rational, go out to the shed and vulcanize all the sharp corners on your sledding hills. After all, what are you going to do when they’re covered with snow and it’s too late to be a good parent?

We’d also like to point out that if you’re just now preparing your Halloween Disaster Plan, then your children may have already been poisoned and lured into a Satanic cult. Way to sit on that until August, “mom.”

More jobs lost to China

Hey, remember when The Office was funny? (Hint: Three or four years ago.) Why was it? Because it was English. Even the Americanized version was a shot-for-shot replication for the first two seasons.

China may get the same treatment. Ricky Gervais is looking to outsource The Office there. The show will have all the fine touches that will really click with Chinese audiences. For example: Jim puts Dwight’s calculator in a bowl of rice pudding instead of Jell-O, and Angela gets executed for her religious views!