Day: September 9, 2010

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The American’

Let’s say this upfront: The American is not an audience movie in the generally recognized sense of the term.

It is not an action movie.

It is not a thriller in any conventional sense.

Forget about the TV commercials and theatrical trailers that make it look like George Clooney is playing some Jason Bourne-like character, mowing down every bad guy who gets in his way. It’s not that movie. Instead, it’s an art film. Anyone who goes in expecting it to be in any way a typical Hollywood product will be sorely disappointed. If Robert Bresson, the French minimalist, had directed a James Bond film, it might have turned out like this. Though Bresson favored nonprofessional actors, director Anton Corbijn has secured George Clooney to play the title role of a top-of-the-line professional assassin. But it’s a very different, more removed Clooney than audiences are used to seeing. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The American’

What’s worse than commie porn?

As a class of young students at the vaguely Hitler-esque named Adolf Reichwein School learned: German commie porn!

Parents were stunned by pens donated by the German Communist Party that light up and project erotic images of women. And you know that if German parents are shocked, that these are some very disturbing erotic images, indeed!

Too gay for Xbox Live

When banned, a 26-year-old Xbox Live gamer called Xbox support to explain that his town of Fort Gay, West Virginia, was a real place and not a homosexual slur, he was threatened with account cancellation. Nice customer relations.

Josh Moore found himself temporarily suspended from Xbox Live last week due to an offensive word in his profile. Moore lives in Fort Gay in West Virginia. The word “gay” in the place name set off red flags with Xbox Live, and Moore found himself suspended, the town name removed from his bio. When he contacted customer service about this, he was told that he could not be helped.

Now, here’s where the hilarity of a small town comes into play. Fort Gay mayor David Thompson tried to intervene on his behalf, only to be told that the town’s name didn’t matter, and the word “gay” was offensive in any context. This is important to know since Microsoft changed the Live policy earlier this year and made it okay to express your sexuality in your gamertag or profile. Whoops. It finally took being brought to the attention of Stephen Toulous, director of policy and enforcement for Xbox Live, for this matter to be resolved.

However, if you live in Bryanisadouchebagville or come from Rickisacharterneonaziburg, don’t be surprised if your info comes under scrutiny.

A new level of flat

Beer is a lot like wine, it only gets better with age, right? I mean, when was the last time you cared about how old that lonely Budweiser in the back of your fridge really was? If anything, being aged means it may have a higher alcohol content.

Get your taste buds ready, because science just found some 200-year-old beer at the bottom of the Baltic Sea amid an old shipwreck. That’s right, the booze has had two centuries to mellow in the cool waters of the, well, where ever the hell the Baltic Sea is. It’s not hard to imagine that it will be auctioned off sometime soon. Even better, some champagne was also found with the beer.

The bad news is that it’s Andre.