Day: November 15, 2010

The McBournie Minute: ‘Boobies’ under attack

October is over, so once again cancer supporters feel safe enough to come out from hiding. It may seem hard to imagine, but there really are people that are pro-cancer and do not work in the tobacco industry. It’s worse, actually. It seems they have infiltrated our schools.

Two girls in Easton, Pennsylvania merely wanted to show their support for the awareness of breast cancer but were instead the victims of discrimination by the very people our tax dollars pay to educate them. These cancer mongers suspended the girls. Breast cancer has affected the lives of my family and friends, so this can be something of an emotional issue for me. I hope I am not going overboard when I say that these so-called authorities should be the victims of severe cases of chafing in the near future.

The girls’ only crimes were wearing “I (heart) boobies!” bracelets. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: ‘Boobies’ under attack

Pol aiming for Pole’s poles at polls

Polish singer Sara May (a.k.a. Katarzyna Szczolekis) is running for a Warsaw district council seat, and she’s found just the means to win Maxim international votes. Her latest campaign posters feature her in a bikini, lounging on the sand and captioned, “Beautiful, independent, competent.”

Hailing from the country that brought back democracy after the Greeks ran it into the ground, we’d like to say that this is a disgrace and should cost her the election, but it worked in Massachusetts.

Regular smokes aren’t obscure enough

When last we talked to you, loyal reader, about cigarettes, it was in regard to the danger that their new packaging may now be creating. Graphic! So so graphic! And the unheralded racism!

Well guess what, world. It’s not over yet.

R.J. Reynolds has decided to create a flavor for their Camel cigarettes-hipster. Okay, it’s not so much a flavor as it’s a packaging subline for the former Camel Blues, formerly of the Camel Lights nomenclature, but never has the sweet and fulfilling taste of nicotine felt so smooth and pretentious. The Williamsburg Camel cigarettes are being based off the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, New York, reportedly the hipster capitol of New York.

According to Camel’s very own website, the Williamsburg experience is summed up as being “about the last call, a sloppy kiss goodbye and a solo saunter to a rock show in an abandoned building.”

We can only assume that the cigarettes will taste like ridiculous old 45’s and be shaped like douches, in honor of their target demographic.

Fighting the war can taste good

Time and time again, we are shown that it is foolish to fight a land war in southeast Asia. This time, it is the animals that are learning that lesson the hard way.

Scientists recently discovered a new species of lizard, and they found it on their plates. The lizard, which is entirely female and reproduces by cloning itself (we’re assuming this is science for “witchcraft”), is apparently quite tasty, because it can be found in several Vietnamese restaurants.

SG Recipe: Take a dozen Leiolepis ngovantrii, season with sriracha sauce, grill until blackened. Enjoy the taste of war.