Day: November 17, 2010

Take it from Snee: We could be safer

Americans are upset at TSA, and it’s not because we’re the only country in the world that requires airline passengers to take off their shoes. We’ve been given a choice between having a digital naked picture taken of us (which will never, ever end up online) or let Bubba Notacop grab a feelsky before we can get through security.

I, however, am not most Americans. You see a police state; I see free hernia checks. (Now who’s providing free health care?) I like the feeling of a security blanket, and to hog more of that blanket, I’ve got a few more recommendations for our Department of Homeland Security. Continue reading Take it from Snee: We could be safer

Justice … to go

After a month of terror, Britain’s long national nightmare is finally over.

The Fine Dining Dasher has been caught and will finally pay for his grand food larceny!

All told, Janis Nords has amassed 2325 pounds … on three unpaid dinner bills, which according to our American math equals $300 quadrillion. No one is quite sure how he managed to run after a 1000-pound French meal, but it probably lead to his eventual surrender to authorities.

[Insert trite line from Good Will Hunting here]

Every week, I buy 5 apples at the grocery store. Sometimes they’re Fujis, sometimes they’re Galas. Truth told, they’re usually whatever is the cheapest that’s on sale. I have one everyday from Monday through Friday. It costs me, on average, around 2 dollars.

On November 13th, a box of Esashi apples were auctioned off in Iwate Prefecture for 1 million yen, or $12,130.

A box of apples.

Sold for over twelve grand. We’ll wait for you to stop gaping at the screen.

It’s not unheard of to hear about some of the Japanese paying outrageous prices for “designer” fruit, such as square shaped “space efficient” watermelons, but regular apples? This is nuts. It’s not as if there were even a lot of them! The box only had 28 pieces of fruit in it!

Apparently it was the first auction of the season, and the high prices were due to buyers wanting the “prestige” of claiming the first box sold. Prestige? There’s bragging rights for buying apples?

Apparently the pests can swim

New York and Paris have a lot in common, for example, they are both heavily romanticized in movies and are populated by insufferable douches. But now they’ve got one more thing in common: bed bugs.

Yes, like the city so nice they named it twice, gay Paris is in the midst of a terrible bed bug outbreak, and no one knows how to stop it. What’s particularly sneaky is that the infestation has been going on for three years, but we’re only now just hearing about it.

Scientists are able to distinguish French bed bugs from their American counterparts, because they smoke constantly and refer to their underground movement as “Le Résistance.”