Day: February 2, 2011

Take it from Snee: Super Bowl commericals are for idiots

It’s the week of the Super Bowl, which translates into a week of hype.

  1. Will Bret Favre congratulate Aaron Rodgers if he wins?!
  2. Does another championship ring make up Ben Roethlisberger’s off-season indiscretions?!  (If he does it again this year, does he have to win another Super Bowl to avoid jail time, or will a mere playoff appearance do?)
  3. Will the defense of either team show up this week?!
  4. Which company will put out the commercial of the year?!

If you asked number four, then congratulations: you’re an idiot. If you’re paid to answer number 4, then you are a hack and should be forced to wear a frilly dress the next time you go to a bar with more than one television on the wall.

What’s that? You don’t think that assessment is fair? Read on to find out why you’re a tool, chump. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Super Bowl commericals are for idiots

Brown-nosers

In our ongoing War on Animals, one species stands out as an ally: dogs. Dogs are willing to do anything to appear on our side, from hunting other animals to helping our blind people win at Whack-A-Mole and even sniffing out the bombs that our cats placed in our luggage when they packed for our flights.

But, like any good illusion, it’s all believable until they take it too far. Sniffing our butts for colon cancer is that line, and you’ve dragged your butts across it, you canine colonoscopers, you.

Tourism marketing at its BEST

The countdown to the Super Bowl is a mere 4 days away, and yet, we wouldn’t be too surprised if many of you already feel absolutely inundated by the coverage of the biggest event in professional sports. Have faith-it’ll be worse. Come Friday, prepare to be privy to stories that have the faintest connection to the sport of football, much less the NFL’s championship game. As to be expected, not all of the stories will be of the feel-good variety.

But have faith: some of those stories are beginning already. The Texas Attorney General, Greg Abbott, has declared that “the Super Bowl is one of the biggest human trafficking events in the United States.”

While this may or may not be true, as The Guys don’t exactly have the most up to date statistics on child trafficking (taken from that great book, “Everybody Gets Stolen at the Piggly-Wiggly and Bought for 2 Grand and a Carton of Marlboros“), we’d just like to point out, once again, that the Super Bowl is taking place in 4 days. Oh, and it’s happening in Dallas, Texas.

A tragedy in Egypt

It’s not often when actually important world events are important enough to be mentioned here on SG, but this is one of those times. You’ve heard about Egypt, right? Of course you have, you’re a highly literate reader with a keen interest on geopolitical strife, our target demographic! So you obviously know that Egypt has been the scene of mass protests for a week, and Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak, who is more or less a dictator, plans to step down in the wake of the upheaval. Of course you knew that.

But now, dear reader, it is with a heavy heart that I pass along some bad news to you, the U.S.-Egypt exhibition soccer game has been canceled. Let’s hope this significant happening in the Middle East does not further disrupt our lives.