Day: February 4, 2011

You Missed It: All the rage edition

This bugs me every year, establishments can’t hold “Super Bowl parties” because of some legal issues, so in ads they have to just say “the big game.” They can’t even say “watch the Super Bowl.” I’m pretty sure bars are allowed to mention the World Series, the Stanley Cup, or whatever soccer championship is happening that day of the week. If you were busy being named the next Superman this week, odds are you missed it.

And then came a lot of bad spoof tweets
Designer Kenneth Cole got himself into trouble this week on Twitter when he tweeted a joke about his new spring collection being the reason there was such an “uproar” in Egypt this week. Get it? People were so excited about his company’s clothing that they decided to form sides, congregate, and hurl rocks at each other for days on end. Ha!

Sarah Palin™
This week, Sarah Palin–wait, stay with me here, I promise it’s worth it–submitted applications to trademark her name and daughter Bristol Palin’s name. Apparently this isn’t uncommon among celebrities, and the term is pretty stretched here. However, if royalties end up having to be paid for using their names, the media might actually stop talking about them. Also, this blog will be in trouble for posts like this, this and this.

Question and answer
And finally, ever wanted to call the cops and ask them what the punishment is for a certain crime you’re thinking about committing? A Connecticut man called 911 to ask what the punishment would be for his growing a marijuana plant. The answer was that he could get arrested, but he’s about to find out a more in depth answer, because the police visited him and found seeds and equipment for growing a plant, so they arrested and charged him with possession of marijuana.

Yes to wetsuit, no to Batsuit nipples

We’ve grown accustomed to losing luxuries after a terrorist attack. Spider-Man doesn’t get to spin a web between the World Trade Center towers. The airport smells a bit more “Croc-y,” especially around the security area.

But, how many freedoms are we willing to surrender? Surely some loss will inspire the American people to stand up and say, “Not on my watch, motherf@%ker.”

Will that loss be wetsuit nipples from SeaWorld babes diving into the water with killer whales and then getting out of the pool?

Hasn’t Tilikum killed enough? Must he also drag dad erections down to the bottom of a metaphorical underwater tank by their less metaphorical pubic hair? We cannot allow the whales to win.

Uncomfortable ad campaign you can believe in

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: An American president (well, a look-alike) is in China, hawking a fish sandwich for a chicken chain.

It’s the truth, ISWURTAGAWD. A Barack Obama doppelganger has been hired by China’s KFC marking team to advertise the chain’s new fish sandwich. It’s being reported that KFC, the most popular fast-food chain in the country, is hoping the “Mmmm, change is good!” ad campaign will boost sales.

Of course, an update is now saying that the ad campaign has been pulled. Which is good, because, you know … awkwardly uncomfortable ad campaigns based off of tenuous connections tend to be less than great for foreign relations. Usually.

Science tries to hook you up again

Hey baby, how’s it goin’?

Ladies, if you speak in a similar manner, there’s a chance you might have thought, “I’m doin’ good, you?” instead of, “That’s the lamest line ever.” That’s what science says, anyway.

Apparently, when dating, it’s more likely to work out if you and your partner speak in the same manner. Of course, they can’t tell you exactly what your speaking style is or who you should be looking for. To test out this new science, we’re going to send our own Chugs “Chugs” Taylor out to pick up ladies using the speaking style of a pirate.