Day: February 8, 2011

We’d buy that for a dollar

Detroit has, for some years, struggled with it’s image … Alright, who are we kidding here? Detroit sucks.

The most iconic things to come out of it since Motown are Eminem, Kid Rock, the Lions, Home Improvement and Chrysler. The only way that list could include more failure is if a Detroit-based medical lab accidentally developed AIDS while working on a cancer cure. (For the CIA, of course.)

And there’s been no movement to fix that–not until a recent Internet poll by Mayor Dave Bing. Unfortunately, Mayor Bing has rejected your suggestion to erect a statue to Robocop.

[Special thanks to Matt Staggs.]

It’s Nutella, not Healthtella

Nutella, that hazelnut and chocolate spread from Australia, tends to be a fairly tasty food paste. Slap it on a sandwich with some peanut butter (fact: peanut butter makes everything better, so suck it people allergic to nuts) and you’ve got a tasty sammich. Slide some on a warm biscuit and you’ve got another tasty breakfast treat (or a treat that’s good anytime in the day, as I live in the south). But never should you, or would you, assume that it’s 100 percent the healthiest thing ever. I mean, it’s partially made from chocolate-you’re not gonna replace a grilled fish and pineapple salad with it.

But, as this is America, home of the frivolous lawsuit, that’s never stopped anyone from being dumb enough to feel that their ads calling it a tasty yet balanced breakfast are misleading.

See? This is why we pay them so little

Folks, teachers are bad–we all know that. They think they know everything, which is why they get to fill our kids’ heads with lies, that only can be undone with regular viewing of political pundits.

Apparently, they have the same problems in Europe. There, a mentally ill man from Northern Ireland was hired as a German teacher in France. This wouldn’t be anything bad, except for the fact that he one stabbed a coworker and was labeled a “dangerous schizophrenic” and escaped from a hospital.

Typically, you don’t see that on a resumé.