Day: February 24, 2011

MasterChugs Theater: ‘2011 Oscar Picks’

It’s that time of the year again (please note that this time is so much more different than that time of the month [well, most of the time]). That’s right kids, the Oscars are back! It’s been a while since we’ve done something like this before, so I felt it might be fun to take a crack at guessing who will win what. Now, mind you, just because I like movies does not mean that I have any idea what the winners will be. These are not locks. Hopefully, though, I’ll be able to predict the future.

Hit the jump to see the predictions. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘2011 Oscar Picks’

A wish is a submarine dream our hearts make

Let us answer today’s Headline of the Day: um, yeah!

Even it isn’t a real submarine–more of a catamaran with a submerged cockpit–it’ll still be our first step to finally hunting down (and eating) the Loch Ness Monster.

So-ho racist

For what is considered the world’s racial melting pot, New York sure does know how to turn on their racist charm whenever the call is needed. Hence why there is a three-story high billboard of a young African-American girl with the headline: “The most dangerous place for an African American is in the womb.”

The ad, trying, and failing miserably to warn of the high level of abortions in African American women is receiving a lot of controversy, while Kanye West probably just thinks George W. Bush came up with it.

A chainsaw in the hand is as good as two in the pants

When I was a pre-teen, I can remember a classmate talking to me about the jacket that he would wear into a store in order to shoplift stuff. It was a gigantic, puffy jacket, so it made sense, I suppose. But sometimes you need more room. Obviously, there’s plenty of that down your pants. Right, Anthony Black?

Buuuuuut it doesn’t work all the time. Or potentially at all. Right, Anthony Black? An employee with a vast and firm grasp on the English language, states:

“I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants.”

It’s certainly an interesting way to impress the ladies. Black decided that chainsaw wasn’t worth the hassle, ditching it and running out the store. Which promptly led headfirst into a creek.

As if the frosting on this delicious cake of hilarity, police think Black may have been intoxicated while doing so. Because chainsaws and alcohol are a fine mix. This is the best story I’ve heard all week.

Beer: The wonder drug

It’s Thursday morning. That means it’s about time for a visit from Dr. Alcohol. If you’re like us, you’re counting the hours until Happy Hour (we actually span two time zones to extend the happiness). So as you prepare to drink away the memories of the week, drink to your health, and go for beer.

Beer, and we’re not making this up, is healthier than wine in a lot of ways, and not just for your image or teeth color.

Beer:

  • Is more hydrating than wine.
  • Reduces your chances of having kidney stones.
  • Retains bone density.
  • Provides a full day’s supply of vitamin B12.
  • Contains protein and fiber.