The McBournie Minute: It’s good to get sick

I was so close. I nearly made it. I almost went the entire winter without having a significant illness. In case you are wondering, and missed You Missed It last Friday, there was no Minute last week not because I thought we had President’s Day off, but I was sick. Horribly, horribly sick.

I had the flu, which I came down with the Saturday of that weekend. I’m not talking about the give-me-some-Theraflu-and-tissues kind of flu, I’m talking about the get-the-hell-out-of-my-way-I-need-to-get-to-the-bathroom kind. And, of course, it had to happen to me on a weekend, when everyone else is out doing whatever they want. I was stuck listening to the television.

Ever wonder what it’s like to lie there and listen to National Treasure, it’s only slightly better than watching it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s good to get sick

Movement to ban human veal

If the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) gets its way, then you can say goodbye to human veal.

The group of pediatricians have begun lobbying each state to prohibit teenagers under 18 years old from UV tanning beds. They believe that the ban would help cut skin cancer rates as the risk of melanoma increases with number of years of indoor tanning.

Of course, this means that that teenage girls will binge tan on their eighteenth birthdays, which makes their meat tough and stringy. At that point, we might as well boil our shoe leather.

There’s a complication behind implication

So, it seems that some people in the world find rape to be a pretty touchy subject. That’s understandable, what with the ickiness behind the act, the philosophies behind the meaning of it taking place and Ice-T’s lisp. Seriously, that’s one cop that hates the letter S. Nonetheless, it’s not that much of a stretch to say that the strong majority of people in existence find rape to fall on the bad side of the line.

So, it’s also understandable for people to be a wee bit upset when a judge utters the line that

sex was in the air

in regards to a sexual assault case he was presiding over after giving  a man accused of rape a two-year conditional sentence.

The judge pointed out the victim and her friend were dressed in tube tops, no bras, and high heels and noted they were wearing plenty of makeup.

We’re not going to say that the judge was making a legal precedent for “with the way she was dressed, she was asking for it,” mainly because we’re not lawyers. Or judges. But we will imply it!

Don’t drink and fry

If you work in the food industry, you probably hate humanity, but you do get to enjoy the little perks of the job, such as having access to some good food when you’re in a jam. In Minnesota, one man found the dark side of that.

A man was out enjoying his evening, enjoying some alcoholic beverages, when according to police, he broke into the Pizza Hut that he works at and began making himself some wings. The problem was that he tripped the security alarm, and police soon found him, allegedly cooking under the influence. He was three times over the legal limit.