The McBournie Minute: Kiss me, it’s Irish-American Heritage Month

We are a week into March, and of course, you are seeing all sorts of television specials and public announcements about the important contributions Irish-Americans have made to this great country of ours (or maybe The Man doesn’t want to appreciate the sons of Erin). That is of course, because I called for an Irish History Month last week, and President Barack O’Bama heard me. He declared March Irish-American Heritage Month (this year only), something John F. Kennedy never did, making O’Bama the most Irish president we have ever had.

March is often known as the most Irish of all the months, because things start turning green again, and well, the Irish liked to rise up against the English a lot this time of year. The month is filled with famous Irish holidays that are known for the traditional getting crocked out of one’s gourd, like St. Patrick’s Day, Daylight Saving Time, and My Friend Alex’s Bachelor Party.

Let’s look back now on just a few of the vital roles the Irish have played in shaping the U.S. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Kiss me, it’s Irish-American Heritage Month

We have seen the robot enemy …

Look, we’re not saying that this is what Terminators will look like in our post-apocalyptic future war against the machines. That would be irresponsible and dangerous.

However, we are saying that there’s a 50-50 chance that it could be a Terminator, or it could just be Danish Professor Henrik Scharfe.

If you’re comfortable with those odds and not threatened by Scandinavian academics, then by all means, don’t bother hiding.

The proof is phallic

A nerd at NASA thinks that he’s found evidence of aliens. Me, I think he’s found a picture of a dong.

Richard Hoover discovered fossils of bacteria in an extremely rare kind of meteorite. If you’re going to find an alien, I suppose those are the best conditions-super specific rare. After breaking apart the extremely rare meteorite, Hoover looked at the fragments with a scanning-electron microscope. What did he find? Micro-organisms, and kids, there’s picture evidence.

Oh, how there is picture evidence.

Look at the picture! It looks like a wang. A long, slithery wang. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it is an alien. If it is an alien, given that shape, well, to be honest, we’re boned.

Coughing through blowholes

Whaling has been illegal since the 1980s, unless you’re Japanese. But that hasn’t stopped tourists from the thrill of getting on a boat, going out to within striking distance, and then not harpooning the whales, but making sure they know that you could if you wanted to.

As it turns out, you are still helping to kill them, anyway. According to a recent study, orcas off British Columbia are exposed to five times as much carbon monoxide as Los Angeles freeways because of all of the whale watching traffic. Keep this in mind, warriors, as long as it breathes oxygen, we can give it lung cancer.