Day: March 10, 2011

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Latitude Zero’

The movie reviews are back, and, oh, look what month it is. That’s right-we’re looking at March, which almost always results in taking a glance at the worst movies ever made. Coincidentally enough, my Dad and I tend to look out for each other in this regard-we’ll send each other a heads up on movies that are just horrible, or we’ll even just send each other the dvd’s themselves. One day, I received Latitude Zero in the mail from Pops.

Latitude Zero is not a good movie.

Latitude Zero is not even an enjoyable good movie. Thanks a lot, Dad. Jerk. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Latitude Zero’

So that’s how it is in their school

B.M.C. Durfee High School in Fall River, Mass., has employed a new tactic for getting chronically tardy and truant students into class:

The best part, though? New York City schools use a wake-up call recorded by Magic Johnson, making robo-phone sex the safest sex you could ever have with the former NBA all-star.

“It’s called dedication. Not that YOU would know anything about that.”

All of you are familiar with the fight or flight concept, right? Personally, I’m a flight-type of guy, but not everyone is. Rick Snee Some people like to put up their dukes like they’re the spitting image of Notre Dame’s mascot. Some people, like me, like to take off as if they were competing against The Flash and Jesse Owens in a track match for omnipotence.

Convicted sex offender Paul Reid is similar to me in that regard. After giving evidence in his trial, Reid slipped his handcuffs and took off. Not one for tomfoolery, malarkey and other such nonsense, Judge Douglas Mark Moore did the only sensible thing a judge should do in the situation: he rugby-tackled Reid down to the ground.

“As he went through the door his honour Judge Marks Moore grabbed him round the throat to try to bring him down.” After falling down three steps together Reid broke free but the judge gave chase. As Reid was about to open a push-handle fire door, Judge Moore rugby-tackled him around the waist and brought him crashing to the ground, landing on top of him.

Look, I don’t know about you, but that’s my anti-crime deterrent.

Hold the anchovies

Here’s a fish kill even species traitors can appreciate: Millions of anchovies washed up dead in California. In related news, apparently anchovies are native to California.

The much-maligned snack-sized fish died for an unknown reason. Even we don’t know what the cause it. Either it’s some brave warrior with a spear, really good aim and a lot of free time, or some crazy person is poisoning the water. They could be after unpopular pizza toppings–watch your back, pineapple!