Take it from Snee: The dark truth behind ‘How I Met Your Mother’

If you’re like me, you’re a handsome, well-read critic of all media. And, you watch How I Met Your Mother.

If you’re not like me, then here’s the basic premise: a guy in the year 2030 explains to his two teenage children the long ass story about how he met their mother. It’s been on since 2005, and he still hasn’t gotten to the part where he–oh, I don’t know–meets their f@%king mother.

Instead, the story he tells them has covered his failed career as an architect, his friends and their families, doppelgangers and the assorted women he’s slept with who aren’t their mother (more on that later).

This past season has included some kind of heavy s#&t, including the death of Marshall’s dad and Barney meeting his dad. Also, Lily’s dad may or may not be in prison. There’s only one other character, Robin, and I’m guessing she’s going to abort a baby or something to get her dad’s attention.

But, is this really the beginning of a dark era on the show? No, because there has always been something far darker, lurking in the very premise of the show since episode one: why is Ted, who’s played in the series by Josh Radnor, narrated in 2030 by Bob Saget? Continue reading Take it from Snee: The dark truth behind ‘How I Met Your Mother’

The Guys were made for your regrets

We all regret something. Some regret not taking their narcolepsy medication prior to operating a woodchipper. Others regret dropping out of their safety school instead of hunkering down and dropping out of Harvard.

And the majority of women surveyed by Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management professor Neil Roese have romantic regrets: “the one that got away, a missed opportunity or someone you knew in college [with whom] it didn’t quite work out.”

Ladies, if there’s a certain Guy you regret not going all the way with, then have we got good news for you: sex kills. We will only break your heart.

Maaaaaybe there shouldn’t be an app for that

Apple’s been under a lot of fire recently. First, they get sued by one company; then, they decide to sue another company. It’s just not roses in Cupertino at the moment. It’s okay though, as they’ve got something to solve, at the very least, your problems as theirs are a bit more difficult.

Are you gay? Do you have an iPhone? Do you not want to be gay anymore?

Then friend, Apple’s got the app for you! Now, mind you, the creators of the app are completely within their rights to make it. On the other hand, nnnnnnnnnnnh.

He’s Knut breathing

Here’s some awesome tragic news for all of you: Knut the polar bear, who caught Germany’s eye years ago, is dead.

As it turns out, it was some sort of brain problem–or was it just that a team of highly-trained warriors finished off the mascot of everything that is wrong with Germany and its obsession with cute animals? Mass bird deaths, mass fish deaths, Knut the polar bear is dead. Well, we’re not talking about our extra-curricular activities.