Day: April 15, 2011

You Missed It: 8-track edition

Feeling rested? I certainly am. After a week off, I had some time to give the ol’ typing muscles a rest and get myself back to peak form. Now, if only I could have taken a week off from work, too.If you were busy released a revamped version of your outmoded horror movie series, odds are you missed it.

It’s not easy being president
In a speech this week, President Barack Obama said that while he works with a lot of great people in the White House, the technical gadgets are not exactly the most up to date. He complained that some of the technology there is 30 years old. This, of course, explains the CB radio in the Oval Office Obama uses to talk to Vice President Joe Biden.

They’re not mobsters, so whatever
The FBI made headlines this week when it released a document on the investigation of the 1947 Roswell, New Mexico UFO incident. A terse report confirms that some sort of object with people on board crashed in the desert. This caused quite a stir with the tinfoil hat crowd, that is until they read the last line of the document, which said “Not intended to be a factual statement.”

So close you could touch it–if your hands weren’t busy
The world’s first 3D adult film premiered this week in Hong Kong, which every guy on the planet has been waiting for since the dawn of 3D technology in the 1950s. The film itself got excellent reviews, with critics saying it brings a new meaning to “It’s coming right at me!”

Luck be a Lady Liberty tonight

The U.S. Postal Service unveiled a new First-Class postage stamp featuring that all-American staple: the Statue of Liberty. Unfortunately, they accidentally used a picture of the shorter, sluttier Vegas statue.

The USPS is going ahead with it, though, and now we’re stuck with the first stamp in U.S. history that can give you herpes when you lick it.

I’m gonna make it rain!

Canadian McDonald’s, prepare to make me your KING!

McDonald’s of Canada has begun selling fast food in exchange for bills from Monopoly. You read that correctly. Fake money is actually being traded for real(-ish) food. In lieu of legal tender. This insane act is being done in celebration of the return of their now classic promotion (just take a guess what it’s called) in the Great White North.

The fun money will only get you a free large fries (like I said, real-ish food), but single Monopoly dollars are of the same equivalent trade-in value as the five hundred dollar variety.

So, what does this mean? As the owner of 4 different versions of the game, and my parents own 5 different versions, I don’t think it’s a stretch to declare me the richest man in Canadian McDonald’s. Which is roughly the same as being the first runner-up of the NIT.

The NBA, where government happens

For all the flack the President Obama gets for filling out a NCAA bracket each year, and for being a knowledgeable sports fan, let’s turn our attention to the FBI. That’s right, the FBI recently took in a Portland Trailblazers’ (formerly of Jailblazers’ fame) practice to take a look at Gerald Wallace, just because the NBA forward mentioned that he would like to work at the bereau after he retires.

Well in that case, The Guys want to be celebrity millionaires with yachts that have leprechauns that serve us Jack and Cokes, a little help with that, U.S. government?