Eat My Sports: A Grizzly scenario

The NBA Playoffs thus far have been a not so balanced combination of blowout series (see: Knicks, Celtics) and unexpected ties (see: Hornets, Lakers) but none has been more unprecedented than the Memphis Grizzlies putting the Western Conference’s number one seed on the ropes.

It’s unprecedented because, one, it’s the Grizz. Let’s face it, this is the team whose franchise faces had been Bryant “Big Country” Reeves and Shareef Abdur-Rahim. This is also the franchise who not only had never won a playoff series, but had never won a game coming into the 2011 edition of postseason basketball. Let’s look at it like this, think if Lindsay Lohan had never done any movies before, and all you knew her for was being a high-profile train wreck. Then, instead of Sandra Bullock, Lohan nails the part for “The Blind Side” and wins an Academy Award. Continue reading Eat My Sports: A Grizzly scenario

Game, SETI, match: aliens win

The economic climate in this country since 2007 has spurred a long list of spending cuts at state, local and federal levels. So far, the casualties have been limited: teachers, police officers, street lights …. None of those really matter, though, because we are officially defenseless against an alien invasion now.

SETI–whose NASA funds were cut in 1994 and was kept afloat by Paul Allen, the National Science Foundation and the state of California–is officially paddleless up that famous Los Angeles landmark, S#%t Creek.

Flavor Fleeeeeee

After a turbulent four months of bounced checks and low staff retention, Clinton, Iowa-based Flav’s Fried Chicken has shuttered. Flav, as all his close friends call him, claims that restaurant manager Nick Cimino wasn’t running the business right, while Cimino believes that Flav is a “fraud” and he is glad to be “free of somebody like Flavor Flav.” There are also rumors that Flav had issues with the food itself after discovering potato salad on April 2 that was being served despite having expired since February 28.

Oh, that’s just mouth-watering.

Flav is reportedly still looking into pursuing other restaurant ventures, including a Las Vegas place called “Flavor Flav’s House of Flavor,” expected to open May 30, and perhaps another restaurant in Davenport, Iowa as well. We expect that the house will taste like cinnamon because why not?

Kyrgyz parliament knows who the enemy is

Washington could learn a thing or two from Kyrgyzstan.

The Kyrgyz parliament is split terribly these days, and in an effort to get their work back on track they decided to talk out their differences like reasonable people slaughter seven rams in an effort to do away with the evil spirits plaguing their work. When our own government nearly shut down earlier this month, it wasn’t because the Republicans and Democrats sorted things out, it was that The Guys sacrificed untold numbers of ants.