MasterChugs Theater: ‘Thor’

Verily! Thor doth cometh to smite thee! Okay, so the Thor in Kenneth Branagh’s big-screen version of the Marvel Comics character doesn’t actually talk like a reject from a Renaissance Fair, which is a shame, as that might have been hilarious. Instead, Thor and his buddies, including the Warriors Three (or, er, Four) talk pretty much like you and I, except with a little more English. Literally. That is not a bad thing. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Thor’

An uplifting story

Japan is still recovering from Gilbert Godfrey’s jokes on Twitter, and her people need your awareness and/or help. To get your attention, Japanese lingerie manufacturer, Triumph, has released a new bra and matching skirt. The underwear features tiny little flags of countries that managed to wish Japan well, passive-aggressively making those who didn’t send a text feel bad.

The bustier should be available in vending machines once they have been worn by underage virgins.

For burning sensation, just add water

Science, we haven’t heard from you in so long! Mind you, the last time we heard from you was yesterday, but when you’re short, all time feels sped up. That’s okay, because when you’re here, I know that I can trust the soothing news that you bring to me.

So what have you brought my way this time? Oh, it’s about drinking water?

Well that’s no problem. Water replenishes me. I’m made of water. Water takes care of me and makes my skin look not as bad as it could.

Wait, what’s that? You say that the very water I drink could be flammable? That’s bad! And that said water could be linked to fracking? I don’t even know what that sentence means, but it sounds like it could be bad!

Bad science! Go away! We’ll have no more of you and your evil shenanigans.

Bee on the lookout

Look out, folks, some bees may have been “stolen.”

A Scottish lab using four hives of bees in a study found that their insect subjects had disappeared. Of course, authorities are saying that the bees were stolen by someone, because they don’t want the public to know that these were super-intelligent bees, capable of escaping on their own–that’s our theory, anyway.

Scientists said the bees are very unique, and should be easy to identify should the bees be sold on the black market.