Bryan Schools is still out this week, hunting silverfish to extinction. He believes in working his way up in animal species from ugliest to cutest, which means he will spend his winter years rolling over baby pandas and rail-gunning unicorns. You’ll just have to put up with me in his stead.
I used to eat Wheaties. But then, when the Los Angeles Kobe Bryants won the NBA championship, there was a lull in new cereal boxes. Then, finally, they put out a new large box with the entire team photo stretched across it.
No, they didn’t photoshop Kobe’s face over all the others, including on Jack Nicholson’s body in the stands. But I did with a pair of scissors, delicious Elmer’s glue, a collection of Sports Illustrated and the fervent zeal of a serial killer.
And that was the last box I ever bought, because winning athletes belong on Wheaties boxes (but only if they did, in fact, eat Wheaties). Yes, even Kobe. And Ron Artest. And Big Ben. And LeBron if he wins this year.
Basically? I’m tired of hearing sports commentators declaring an athlete’s career over once personal scandals occur. Unless we’re talking about Tiger, it’s a lie, and they damn well know it. So, why are we (and marketing firms) still falling for this myth? Continue reading Eat My Sports: Nobody gets ‘Munsoned’ these days
