Day: June 8, 2011

Take it from Snee: Weiner, wiener and the ‘i before e’ rule

I was out in Colorado last week, and figured I’d make up for a lack of TifS with a travelogue detailing my drunken debaucheries pleasant trip with my wife. Unfortunately, it appears that fate and the news cycle had other plans for me.

After all, who am I to argue that a story about a U.S. Representative named Weiner (D-Jockeys) sexting pictures of his wiener is less newsworthy than some breathtaking scenery from our great nation’s minimally spoiled wildernesses?

I can’t. This story is bigger than you, me and (clearly) Anthony Weiner. It’s the white penis in the room. It’s Brett Favre and Kanye West dutch-ruddering each other while former U.S. Rep. Christopher Lee (R-Shirtless) flexes in the corner and the whole country calling them gay.

Put simply: this sad, sad story changes everything I thought I knew about taking a picture of your own penis and sending it to a relative stranger. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Weiner, wiener and the ‘i before e’ rule

Sun blames blast on the dog

Much like you dad at the dinner table, NASA and the USA Today have attempted to euphemize the sun’s latest gas expulsions.

Still, we’d love to hear Aunt Mathilda fan herself and declare she “has fired off a spectacular ‘coronal mass ejection,’ following a solar flare erupting from a sunspot region.” It sure beats her usual outbreaks of The Vapors.

I’ve seen worse beavers

Beavers aren’t exactly one of the better kinds of animal in the world. They’re bucktoothed (which means they’re obviously dumb), they’re slow and they dam up rivers for no dam reason … I mean, damn reason! We have no need for them at all. Worse yet, now they’re attacking people!

A beaver in Philadelphia’s Pennypack Park (and I don’t care) has been reported as not only attacking innocent people, but being rabid. Rabid! That means the poor citizens will have to spend time in the hospital because they’ve had a bad case of being inflicted with a potentially life-threatening disease. Not only that, but they’ll also have to be given a minimum of 13 shots to help counteract the virus, and that’s after getting out of the sick ward (living in the South means I’m not too many links separated from someone who’s possibly had an encounter with rabies).

A brave park ranger managed to slay the monster, but people are being advised to avoid the park if possible because you never know. This is easily a situation that the SyFy eagerly wants to get their fingers in.

It’s the party of the summer

Here in the U.S., a girl’s sixteenth birthday party is a cherished thing, even though no one can really say why, exactly. In Germany, they really get into the celebration for a girls’ sweet 16.

A German teen named Thessa was planning a shindig (the kids still use that term, right?) for her birthday and decided to invite over a few friends, via Facebook. Only thing is, she forgot to set the party page to “private,” and over 1,500 people RSVP’d. Thessa fled her parents’ house as a crowd showed up, some bringing presents, other carrying signs.

Over 100 police officers had to be used to control the crowd. Now that is how you celebrate womanhood!