Day: June 14, 2011

Eat My Sports: Too hot to handle

Congrats to the Dallas Mavericks. The underachieving band of misfits that no one saw coming. Well they came into the NBA Finals and simply put it to the heavily favored MoHeatos by showing up where and when the Heat couldn’t, at the end of the game.

The topic that people will gravitate to, and rightfully so, is LeBron James’ disappearance from every fourth quarter. James is a polarizing topic, and he did this to himself. James made himself the villain, James stabbed his hometown in the back on national television, James is the one who promised Miami they would win at least seven championships, and in the end, it was James who couldn’t handle the moment when it demanded it come from him. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Too hot to handle

Robert Sayegh and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Flight Delay

Robert Sayegh, author of the soon-to-be-released children’s book The Secret Origin of Mirrors, was pulled off of his plane before takeoff for allegedly using the f-word in exasperation. His flight had been delayed from taking off in Detroit, leading to the bombing of the plane.

According to Sayegh himself, he may have uncapped the detonator on that f-bomb twice, directing it at himself, possibly towards his shoes or underwear.

Atlantic Southeast Airlines is currently investigating the events on Flight 5136 and cannot confirm at this time how many onboard were hurt or killed by Sayegh’s invective. They could not state conclusively for now whether they will retire the flight number after this tragedy, but can say with certainty that everyone on board is “a goddamn hero, each and every one of the bastards.”

I can see their logic

We have a Dunkin Donuts located just across from the office where I work. It’s saved me many a long morning, as Chris needs his coffee. And sugar. And donuts. And munchkins (hooray for cannibalism!). For me, deliciousness tends to breed loyalty.

Sometimes it can also breed crime. A Dunkin Donuts in Massachusetts was robbed by three men armed with knives and a hatchet, which seems like a little bit of overkill for a Bavarian creme donut. The men confronted the two employees in the store and ran off with a paper bag. Inside were donuts.

While police feel that the robbers were under the presumption that the day’s earnings were in the bag, I’m pretty sure that the men knew jelly and creme filled goodness littered that magical bag. Heck, I’d be tempted to wear a balaclava into the site by office if it meant I’d get an extra munchkin or 20.

Another one about cops in Washington state

As a general rule, it’s typically not a good idea to argue with police officers. It’s usually even worse to strike them. But what’s really bad is when you argue semantics with them.

Case in point: When an officer asks you why you are carrying a dead weasel, it’s best to answer him or her. Do not, insist it isn’t a weasel, but rather, a marten (which happens to be part of the weasel family, but that’s neither here nor there) and then punch the cop before running off.

Police still have no theories as to why the man had a dead weasel.