Day: June 22, 2011

Ask Dr. Snee: Turns out I’m right about everything

Why, hello there.

You know, I get a lot of letters and many of them question my expertise. Rather than post each and every one of them up here, let me just answer what you’re all really wondering: am I a doctor? Yes.*

A few of you went further in your letters and politely asked if I am insane. I assure you that not only am I sane, but a lot of research published this week proves that I am also right. But, in the words of Geordi LaForge, don’t take my word for it. This week’s batch of letters show again and again that, when it comes to four out of five doctors, I’m one of those four. (Except when I’m rocking a mic. Then I’m one of a kind.) Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Turns out I’m right about everything

‘Different’ is a pretty sad euphemism

When it comes to this year’s Republican primary, it’s certainly been raining s@#t on Newt Gingrich. Earlier this month, his campaign staff resigned en masse, and two of his top fundraisers follow suit on Tuesday. His war chest is currently $1 million in the hole, and that doesn’t count money owed to Tiffany’s.

But, that can’t stop a man who once ground our government to a halt because the President didn’t have Newt’s decency to marry the girl who sucked his dick.

No, Newt said, “I’m different,” and further compared himself to Ronald Reagan, whose once lost 13 staffers on a bar bet.

In response, Sarah Palin said, “Oh yeah?” and has taken his plan one step further by resigning from her own campaign bus tour.

Smooth move, Canada

Canada, you’re a country that’s much larger than the one you reside over top of. You’re fairly pleasant enough, but you enjoy a good beer, which is awesome! So why do you continue to give us reasons to make fun of you?

The insane rioting was ridiculous enough, but your money has always been a point of hilarity. A queen that you don’t really pay that much attention to? A beaver? A duck? Excuse me: loon.

The smart (and eventual) move for money is to switch to a check card like swipe system. It saves space and it doesn’t have stupid animals on it! So when we hear that you’re moving to a form of plastic money, I can’t help but be happy.

Annnnnd crestfallen. This is not what I meant by plastic money.

Drink to your health

We’ve been saying it for years: Booze is good for your health. And once again, we ended up being ahead of the curve. A new study has found reason to believe that beer is actually good for your health if you’re an athlete. (OK, so they said non-alcohol wheat beer, but that’s not the point.)

In a scientific study involving thousands of people, researchers found that marathoners and tri-athletes who drank up to about three pints a day had less inflamation and decreased risk chance of getting sick than those who drank a placebo. (Non-alcoholic beer is a placebo to us.)

If non-alcoholic beer can do that, just think about how much better actual beer can be for you! Have you had your several pints today?