Take it from Snee: Some atheists need religion

When Thomas Jefferson made damn sure we knew that the First Amendment built “a wall of separation between Church & State,” he did it so we wouldn’t allow those two in a room together, because, when they do? Look out, buddy.

Unfortunately, this was just like telling the kids in the backseat that they’re not allowed to cross the force field between them, no matter how much drinking and swerving you do. Since then, the American people have periodically gotten a little religion in their state/state in their religion, and humanist groups like the ACLU have stepped in to separate them before a caliphate is set up in the Capitol.

The latest tussle is over a cross at the 9/11 memorial site, and the American Atheists are litigiously peeved. They have sued New York, New Jersey, “the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, New Jersey Gov. Christie Christie, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, the World Trade Center Memorial Foundation/National September Memorial and Museum, property owners and developers Silverstein Properties, the Lower Manhattan Development Corp., World Trade Center Properties, and the Church of the Holy Name of Jesus and Brian Jordan.” (Does it suck to be Brian Jordan or what?)

Normally, I’m all for putting religion in a sack and beating it with dildos, but could the American Atheists be acting like actual dicks in this case?

It’s a piece of the building

The cross in contention is a t-joint found in the rubble of the World Trade Center. The Church of the Holy Name of Jesus did what Catholics naturally do: they saw “Jesus” in what other people see “architecture” and took it home. After about ten years, they brought it back and the aforementioned Brian Jordan, a Franciscan friar, blessed it.

So, to recap: Roman Catholics stole a piece of 9/11, felt guilty (as always) and brought it back. American Atheists, not believing in god, see a cross because Catholics can’t return anything without holy water.

It’s neither the site’s first blessing nor the last

You know what people have been doing at the 9/11 memorial since before it was even a memorial? Praying.

The lawsuit features arguments from four plaintiffs for the following reasons:

“Two Jewish plaintiffs say they ‘find the cross, a symbol of Christianity, offensive and repugnant to their beliefs, culture, and traditions, and allege that the symbol marginalizes them as American citizens.’

“An atheist plaintiff raised as a Roman Catholic ‘finds the use of governmental action to place a cross within the September 11 Memorial and Museum, which was designed to memorialize all casualties of the World Trade Center, to be an insult to every non-Christian survivor of that attack.’”

“’As a survivor of the 9/11 attack and family member of one of the brave responders to the 9/11 attack, Mark Panzarino is appalled that the state has permitted a symbol of Christianity to represent a tragedy that affected all Americans. The Panzarinos unequivocally do not wish for a cross to represent Frank Joseph Panzarino’s sacrifice unless it is a Lutheran Cross,’ Panzarino says” [emphasis mine].

So, they’re upset over one particular symbol because the Catholics didn’t make it for them. I’m gonna call “tough s#@t” on this one. American Atheists are starting to sound a little the worst kind of Christians if they’re upset because they didn’t get their own symbol of nothingness right next to it. And, bringing in two Jewish people and a Lutheran 9/11 survivor manages to be both skeezy and counter to their argument that this is about church and state; combining all churches into one megachurch doesn’t defeat the First Amendment.

Unlike most atheists, this particular batch never grew out of their “in your face, so deal with it” phase. These are the same sorts that put up trolling bus ads every Christmas because, clearly, Christian billboards recruit more than just truckers with a heart full of remorse and a mini-fridge full of hooker lips. They probably sulk after their girlfriends orgasm and, after much needling, finally say, “Did you have to bring Him into this?” This lawsuit is definitely about an agenda, which is unfortunate because the awesome thing about atheism is that it doesn’t need one.

Besides, religions love a tragedy, so this is kinda exactly in Catholics’ wheelhouse. I can’t be against a cross at a funeral site if I’m also OK with a Muslim community center built a few blocks away for the sake of interfaith healing.

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Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of "moron," some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and -- on one occasion -- a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven't heard of it). Really, he's just one of The Guys, y'know?