Day: August 1, 2011

The McBournie Minute: Homeless and carefree

The unemployment rate remains high, the federal government nearly defaulted on its loans and the price of everything seems to be going up. In all, this seems like a pretty sweet time to be homeless. Think about it: No bills to worry about, plenty of fresh air, and no one really cares if you drink in the morning. The best part about being homeless right now is that there’s a decent chance some of your friends are, too.

On my way to the office, I see homeless people–at least I assume they are homeless. They could just be on vacation and really, really like sitting outside during a heatwave. And I realized something: I’m the one who has to get up in the morning, I’m the one who gets stressed out from work all day, I’m the one who has to worry about how long my commute will take at the end of the day.

I ask you: Who is truly free: the people I see, or me? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Homeless and carefree

Steven, take the wheel

Responsible drinkers know that, when you’ve had a few too many, you should always hand your keys to a sober(er) driver. And this would have been all well and good for Mississippi dad/love child of Green Day and Good Charlotte, Billy Joe Madden, if his eight-year-old son could just keep his s%@t together.

Police found the boy in the driver seat of Madden’s pickup truck after pulling him over for erratic driving. His dad was sleeping it off next to him. Apparently, despite his pinky swears, those two beers did affect the kid after all.

As a bonus, Reuters wins the coveted Headline of the Day for most confused use of a question mark in the face of police evidence.

It’s your classic chicken/egg question with digital hooves, digital mares and digital peanut butter between the gums

While SG has covered Second Life before, we don’t tend to cover it a lot simply because it’s just too goddamn weird for this planet. I mean, it may not even be an actual video game, so much as a place to give up your money and then find someone to sue.

The latest one concerns two makers of virtual animals, specifically ponies and bunnies. They’re locked in a lawsuit over who copied whose digital meaningless crap first. One litigant’s demands were particularly cruel, or hilarious, depending on your point of view. They asked that Linden Labs shut down the store of the alleged infringer, which would have shut down the feed supply for the virtual horses, which would starve them to death. Linden said no thanks.

But lo, there is a human victim, a woman who lives in upstate New York who cares for one of the animals in jeopardy. While Linden hasn’t shut down the feed store, that’s still the aim of Ozimals, Inc. which is a virtual bunny ranch (no, not that kind) that claims Amaretto Ranch Breedables, the horse farm, copied its intellectual property. A judge recently ruled that the suit could go forward but did not grant Ozimals’ wish to starve the ponies.

I don’t understand anything anymore. That sound you heard was my brain exploding.

It’s about time we had a Mexican War II

America, we’re being invaded.

We’ve all heard about the harm illegal immigrants are doing to our nation’s economy, and how our attempts to shore up our borders are pretty lame. Now, it seems it’s not just people looking for some low-paying jobs and a better way of life that are crossing our borders illegally, it’s the soldiers, to0.

Last week, we were invaded by the Mexican army when a convoy of 33 soldiers “accidentally” crossed over to the U.S. side of a bridge over the Rio Grande. In response, our boys at the Border Patrol rounded them up, processed them, and sent them home.

Nice try, Mexico. You can’t make us take you over that easily!