Day: August 8, 2011

The McBournie Minute: We’re getting dumber

I think it’s within us all to believe that there’s still more to come. We don’t like thinking that we may have peaked, or that all we have left is a slow decent into mediocrity. For some reason, we all think that in time, we will be better, more good looking, richer and smarter.

Well, that last one just isn’t going to come true for the human race as a whole, according to scientists. Mankind has gotten as smart as it is going to get. That’s it for us. The only way for us to evolve is down. And one could make a pretty good argument that we are already heading that way.

So, why are we not getting smarter, and what happens next? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: We’re getting dumber

A little racism is OK in war

Warriors, we’re in trouble.

A group of Tibetan Buddhists released 534 live lobsters back into the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Massachusetts, last Wednesday. They claim that this was part of their observance of Chokhur Duchen, or the anniversary of Buddha’s turning of the Dharma Wheel. But we know better.

There’s only one thing Buddhists are known for more than Richard Gere, and that thing is Kung Fu.

More Jailonia than Stankonia

Devastating news has been revealed, friends. Devastating!

Big Boi of Outkast has been arrested! Now, here are the points to keep in mind:

1. He was arrested for illegal possession of drugs. That’s fairly gangster.
2. Said drug being illegally possessed was Viagra. Not so gangster.

Mind you, he was also charged with illegal possession of Ecstasy, so there’s that. I mean, in today’s culture, while not as street as crack, it shows a desire to diversify, and that’s smart.

But that’s not where the devastating news comes from. No, the devastating news is that clearly Big Boi has problems keeping his Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik up,as evidenced by him having possession of Viagra. Because that’s obviously the only reason for why he has it. Well, that or he pulmonary arterial hypertension. Which, in this case, might actually be more gangster.

And we thought flying couldn’t get worse

We know that birds don’t like us, and they particularly focus on our vehicles to exact their revenge. Whether it’s crapping on our cars or diving into our plane’s jet engines, they just want to take us down.

Now, they’re taking their attacks to a new level. A bird decided to hop a flight from Madison, Wisconsin to Atlanta, and rather than flying itself, it decided to take a plane. The bird flew around the cabin of a Delta flight, terrorizing passengers, who were being made miserable just fine beforehand, thanks to the airline.

The brave passengers finally trapped the winged terrorist in the rear lavatory until landing. We’re short on details as to what happened after that, but we’re confident that the bird got some Atlanta-style justice.