Day: August 9, 2011

Eat My Sports: Mike Brown takes the Pittsburgh route

In one of the more downplayed stories in the going on two weeks of NFL frenzy has been the Bungles owner Mike Brown refusing to trade Carson Palmer, and letting him carry out his retirement threat for not “honoring his contract.” Palmer would be entering the ninth year of his NFL career that has not delivered the elite level potential that Palmer has sporatically displayed throughout his stint. And not that I’m one to condone going after qbs, but Brown is trying to finish off what the PIttsburgh Steelers tried in the Wild Card round in 2006 and end Palmer’s career.

Brown’s play is bush league. The man can cut any player at any point of their contract, but says he won’t “reward” Palmer for not honoring what he signed. I’m sorry Mike, but if Palmer no longer wants to play for a franchise that has led the NFL in convictions for a decade and not made one single attempt to bring in a top-flite free-agent, all while asking your franchise qb to get pummeled behind an offensive line that you refuse to upgrade, well I can’t blame him. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Mike Brown takes the Pittsburgh route

WE SAID, ‘HE’S DEAF’

Tom Willard, a deaf man, has accused the Empire Haven Nudist Park of failing to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Willard claims that Naturist Society refused to provide him with an interpreter for their annual nudist festival.

While we agree that Willard deserves to be heard (sorry), complaining you’re missing out on the music at a nudist festival sounds (sorry again) an awful lot like claiming to read the articles in Playboy.

 

Sushi spicy sauce is people!

Tiny, super microscopic people. And in infinite amounts!

A woman is suing Planet Sushi, a sushi restaurant in New York City, over her take-out sushi. She feels that the spicy sauce that came along with her dish had a higher than normal amount of semen in its ingredients.

Mind you, the normal amount of semen in spicy sauce is typically zero.

She states that she noticed something amiss upon first tasting the sushi, after having dipped a piece of the tuna roll into the sauce, and that she spit part of the roll out but swallowed about half of the bite.

Now, the part about noticing something out of the ordinary regarding the sushi throws me off a bit. What does that have to do with anything? Does the sushi contain semen, or at least, more semen than what’s to be expected from fish? Is she implying that the sushi was tainted or prepared in a way that required her to use the potentially tainted spicy sauce? I don’t understand.

Nonetheless, she’s proceeded with a lawsuit, which a judge has allowed despite a request by the restaurant to be dismissed. There are so many questions that need to be answered, and not a one of them contain words I would use at my job.

Whiskey really is the water of life

It’s time to crack one open and celebrate, while you’re at it, drink to your health. A new study says drinkers and smokers live just as long, if not longer, as their lamer soberer counterparts.

Researchers studied a group of European Jews aged 95 and up, and looked at their habits. What they found was that of the old dudes, those who did not exercise and drank a bit in their day would be more likely to live longer than the general population averages. Which means that sitting on your ass drinking could actually add years onto your life.

So start doing shots right now, it’s time to save your own life!