Day: August 10, 2011

Take it from Snee: A stand against reverse sexism

Every year, network television producers have a challenge laid before them: to break new ground on sitcoms with the same tired Tim Allens and former Roseanne kids.

One way is to go with the familiar, but add a twist. For instance: Yes Dear was your average white family sitcom, only with another wrong-kind-of-white family living in Will and Carlton’s pool house out back. It’s not glamorous, but it pays the bills and not every channel can be HB-goddamn-O.

But, then, every so often, a producer finds a goal—nay, a mission to champion and the talent to pull it off.  A show like Will & Grace, which dared to ask, “What if we made a show about gay people and only one acts like a cartoon?” Or Cheers, which looked at alcoholism and thought, “What’s the big deal, anyway?”  A show that tackles the concerns of the average American with a no-holds-barred approach the way Major Dad did with newly-remarried divorcées and the Marines.

Fortunately for ABC, Tim Allen has heard your pleas and plans to do what Designing Women did for women, only this time for men. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A stand against reverse sexism

No good breakfast goes unpunished

Alas, another lawless three months of summer have gone and went. School is almost back in session, which means it’s time to remind parents to start raising their kids again.

As your teenagers will need to wake up before the crack of 2 p.m., researchers suggest feeding them a breakfast mixture of protein and fiber–otherwise known as the classic “One-Two Combo” on blenders and toilets. This should energize your future voter and keep them full until lunch.

The link contains recipes, but might we suggest The Guys’ recommend breakfast?

  • Coffee with Bailey’s (caffeine and dairy)
  • Bacon (protein)
  • A cigarette and a newspaper (fiber)

It’s proven to boost standardized test scores by making standardized tests bearable.

Turn-around IS fair play

Warriors, we’re in trouble no more. Last week, a group of troubled Tibetan Buddhists released a number of lobsters back into the water around Massachusetts under the banner of “religion.”

A group of lobstermen (they’re human, not a horrific half arthropod, half man hybrid) then caught the exact number of lobsters that had been released by the kung-fu wielding people: 534.

That’s karma.

Still, it apparently works out for all. The Buddhists were still given credit in the “good column” for their deed, while the lobstermen, heroic already for their tireless job of providing food for people and keeping the waters clean of living atrocities, can now reap the benefits of a catch that will probably net them a tidy little profit. And the lobsters are shown just who’s boss.

Once again, that’s karma.

Have you seen this stuffed monkey-baby?

You know how it is, you go out to eat, you set your stuffed monkey-baby you’ve had for years, and then the next thing you know, he’s gone.

Wait, you don’t know how that is? Oh, well uh, neither do we. But some weird-ass Brooklyn couple does.

Bonni Marcus, 47, and Jack Zinzi, 58, misplaced their stuffed monkey, Bongo, which they have been raising like a son, and they were hysterical, not in the funny sense. They put up fliers and offered a reward for Bongo’s safe return.

Somewhere in Brooklyn, Luis Barreto, 61, found Bongo, and rather than leaving that gross thing there, because some kid with whooping cough probably had it last, he took it home and got attached to it. When he saw the fliers, he called Bongo’s owners and almost didn’t return the stuffed monkey because he had grown attached to it himself. He finally caved, and was given the $500 reward Marcus and Zinzi offered.

Key quote: Bongo will also be reunited with his identical Beanie Baby brothers — named Doe, Ray and Me — who Marcus said, “were also suffering.”

[via @EITMonline]