In our last installment, God created the universe. He worked his way up the food chain until he drove his greatest idea, dinosaurs, firmly into the ground. So far into the ground, in fact, that they would appear to be over 200 million years old when, in actuality, it happened 4000 years ago.
Now, let’s continue our voyage of Creative Science. Continue reading Take it from Snee: A Briefer, Intelligenter History of Time, Part Two
You guys! I know we’re supposed to seriously stop trying to make the Virginia earthquake a disaster, but we’ve just gotten word that the tremors have damaged the nation’s First Erection.
The Washington Monument and surrounding 100 feet will be closed to visitors indefinitely until repairs can be made. This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to it since workers wrapped scaffolding around it and we had to pretend it wasn’t a dick splint.
To our senior citizen readers, we bid you goodbye.
To our high school freshmen readers, we bid you hello.
Why do we do this? Because everything that’s current is new … and old. According to people with too much free time on their hands, the web, at least the concept of the web as you and I know it, is older than teenagers entering college as freshmen this oncoming semester. Other things that can make you, our dear reader, feel extremely old:
Oh, and to help emphasize it, we would like to reiterate the message from Bryan McBournie: In other news, stop trying to make the Virginia earthquake a disaster. Seriously, stop it.
Every worry that you’re missing out on something cool while you’re in the bathroom? Or feel like you need to pinch it off and go, because something important is going on? The captain of a Finnish ferry boat felt that way recently.
The captain was stuck in the bathroom during a jaunt near Helsinki. He pounded on the door for help, but, apparently in Finland it’s A-OK for the captain to be the only person who knows how to steer a ship, because the ferry struck a rock before they could get him free.
In other news, stop trying to make the Virginia earthquake a disaster. Seriously, stop it.
