Month: August 2011

Extinction only a hop, skip and jump away

Thanks to all those exhibitionists eating frog legs on dares, numerous frog species are now facing possible extinction.

It’s not from just the sheer number eaten–although that alone nearly wiped out frogs in India and Bangladesh back in those crazy, tasteless 1980s. Bullfrogs imported from Indonesia, China, Vietnam, Taiwan and Mexico carry chrytid fungus, which kills any native species they encounter.

Animal warriors, we’ve won this round, just so long as nobody figures out that there are easier animals to harvest that carry more meat and taste even more like chicken. (We’re talking about bunny rabbits, of course.)

Uncomfortably bringing about awareness

It’s the new rage! All the kids are doing it! Watch out for your cute little chickadee, as she’ll be joining in too! Even your mom and especially your sister!

That’s right, I’m clearly talking about the SlutWalk.

Hey, I didn’t make up the name and I certainly didn’t dress it up that way.

Groups of women have been gathering around to bring about awareness of the victims of sexual violence around the world through the only sensible way possible: Triumphantly marching around cities in high heels. Started in response to an off-color remark by a member of the Toronto police department, over the past three months, SlutWalks have begun happening around the world, with such locations as New Delhi, Toronto, Whale’s Vagina and Baltimore. The most recent event took place in Portland, gathering hundreds of … ladies? This is questioned as the article linked has a picture with a guy wearing a Captain America logo on it.

Just, hypothetically speaking: how much did this walk of sluts, no, tarts, NAY, strumpets (!) cost the city? Can we quantify that? In dollar amounts?

It’s Miley!

In news that really only matters if you care about a party in the USA, Miley Cyrus has created a Twitter war by tweeting pics of her new ink. Cyrus’ equal sign on her finger has sparked Twitter theology debates and a lashout by right wing extremist against the pop singer. That’s right, God, Twitter and Miley Cyrus in the same post.

Super-casual Monday cancelled

The financial markets have been a little jittery lately, and for good reason, what with the U.S. debt crisis and all. But on Wall Street yesterday, people were nervous for a slightly different reason: a bunch of naked people were running around.

As part of an art performance project (of course), dozens disrobed and walked around Wall Street near the New York Stock Exchange. Three of them got arrested.

Actual quote from a real person:

“It was like out of a porn movie,” said shocked street vendor Ali Wafaa, 27. “I wish New York City would always be like that.”

Mmmmm, someone’s stock is rising.

The McBournie Minute: Homeless and carefree

The unemployment rate remains high, the federal government nearly defaulted on its loans and the price of everything seems to be going up. In all, this seems like a pretty sweet time to be homeless. Think about it: No bills to worry about, plenty of fresh air, and no one really cares if you drink in the morning. The best part about being homeless right now is that there’s a decent chance some of your friends are, too.

On my way to the office, I see homeless people–at least I assume they are homeless. They could just be on vacation and really, really like sitting outside during a heatwave. And I realized something: I’m the one who has to get up in the morning, I’m the one who gets stressed out from work all day, I’m the one who has to worry about how long my commute will take at the end of the day.

I ask you: Who is truly free: the people I see, or me? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Homeless and carefree

Steven, take the wheel

Responsible drinkers know that, when you’ve had a few too many, you should always hand your keys to a sober(er) driver. And this would have been all well and good for Mississippi dad/love child of Green Day and Good Charlotte, Billy Joe Madden, if his eight-year-old son could just keep his s%@t together.

Police found the boy in the driver seat of Madden’s pickup truck after pulling him over for erratic driving. His dad was sleeping it off next to him. Apparently, despite his pinky swears, those two beers did affect the kid after all.

As a bonus, Reuters wins the coveted Headline of the Day for most confused use of a question mark in the face of police evidence.

It’s your classic chicken/egg question with digital hooves, digital mares and digital peanut butter between the gums

While SG has covered Second Life before, we don’t tend to cover it a lot simply because it’s just too goddamn weird for this planet. I mean, it may not even be an actual video game, so much as a place to give up your money and then find someone to sue.

The latest one concerns two makers of virtual animals, specifically ponies and bunnies. They’re locked in a lawsuit over who copied whose digital meaningless crap first. One litigant’s demands were particularly cruel, or hilarious, depending on your point of view. They asked that Linden Labs shut down the store of the alleged infringer, which would have shut down the feed supply for the virtual horses, which would starve them to death. Linden said no thanks.

But lo, there is a human victim, a woman who lives in upstate New York who cares for one of the animals in jeopardy. While Linden hasn’t shut down the feed store, that’s still the aim of Ozimals, Inc. which is a virtual bunny ranch (no, not that kind) that claims Amaretto Ranch Breedables, the horse farm, copied its intellectual property. A judge recently ruled that the suit could go forward but did not grant Ozimals’ wish to starve the ponies.

I don’t understand anything anymore. That sound you heard was my brain exploding.

It’s about time we had a Mexican War II

America, we’re being invaded.

We’ve all heard about the harm illegal immigrants are doing to our nation’s economy, and how our attempts to shore up our borders are pretty lame. Now, it seems it’s not just people looking for some low-paying jobs and a better way of life that are crossing our borders illegally, it’s the soldiers, to0.

Last week, we were invaded by the Mexican army when a convoy of 33 soldiers “accidentally” crossed over to the U.S. side of a bridge over the Rio Grande. In response, our boys at the Border Patrol rounded them up, processed them, and sent them home.

Nice try, Mexico. You can’t make us take you over that easily!