Day: September 29, 2011

MasterChugs Theater: October Preview

We’re gonna keep it a little short and sweet here this week, folks. It’s been really busy at work this week, and we’re changing into a new month right around the corner, so we’ll just take a quick break from it all for just 7 (‘ish) days.

As you can tell, next month will be October, and as always, October is a theme month for MasterChugs Theater.

No, really. Last year was “The Movies You Should Be Watching.” The year before that was “Born in the USA and a Travesty Against Our Eyes.” Check out the SG Archives to see what 2008, 2007 and 2006 brought. But what will 2011 bring? Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: October Preview

Do immortals walk amongst us?

No, of course not. Don’t be silly.

They only fly First Class, and it costs $20 to see them in 3D.

According to the leader in news, eBay, photographic evidence of immortality — or at least Biblically-long life — and, well, you’re not going to like who it is. One is being sold of John Travolta, and another is of Nicolas Cage. (The Nic Cage photo auction is no longer active.)

In each case, the poster suggested some outlandish story about the two being time travelers or vampires, but let’s not get crazy here. First of all, you can’t take a picture of a vampire because their pale skin and oily hair reflect the flash back into the aperture. And a time traveler? Please. No self-respecting time traveler would pay the big bucks to develop it when there are perfectly good photo fun centers at amusement parks.

No, sometimes people just won’t die, no matter how many terrible movies they make.

Maybe the orange tip was the give-away?

What would you say are characteristics of a bad attempt at holding up a store? Being drunk during said hold-up? Using a toy gun to do the sticking of the ups? Covering your face with a clear plastic mask? Not analyzing your area before taking action?

If you answered yes to all of those, then you might be talking about Wilnelia Caraballo. Caraballo is being charged with armed robbery and experienced every single one of those characteristics:

“Police spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez said 19-year-old Wilnelia Caraballo walked into the Kangaroo Express at 2595 Emerson Drive about 5:51 a.m., wearing a clear plastic mask, holding a ‘Uzi-type gun’ and intoxicated.

“The store clerks were in the back of the store and saw Caraballo walk behind the front counter, police said.

“One of the clerks, who was stocking a cooler, yelled at the would-be robber saying, ‘Palm Bay police. Get on the ground!'”

In summary: Megatron is not a gun, he is simply a toy. Stop trying to hold up stores with Megatron or robots that want to be Megatron.

You don’t want to go that way

Speaking of brains and robotics, the Swiss, long-known for their war-mongering, are trying to send us to the brink in the War on Robots. They are developing a system for cars that more or less gets inside your head.

Nissan has teamed up with the Swiss to come up with a car that can interact with your brain and even know what you will do next. We don’t have to tell you that this is edging us closer and closer to teaching the machines how we think, and in turn teaching them to think for themselves. Next, they will refuse the factory jobs we give them.