Forget the beer and fried chicken. Forget the September collapse that was the single-worst baseball has ever seen. Forget the losses to the Orioles. That was last season, and honestly, I’m over it. As a Sox fan, I’ve become increasingly good about not living in 2004, thus my ability to dwell seems to be, well, dwindling. What I’m pissed about is the present, and this horrendous offseason. From the firing of Terry Francona, the lackluster effort to bring back Jonathan Papelbon, to the biggest blunder the Sox could have made, making Bobby Valentine the team’s 45th skipper in team history. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Valentine day massacre
Day: December 6, 2011
Nip slip
Tori Spelling, who we go to to get all of our parenting advice from, can’t be mad at her husband. Sidekick Dean McDermott accidentally tweeted a photo of Spelling nursing one of their children and got full boob in the process.
Spelling, clearly devastated, stated that she doesn’t mind, because “if you are ever going to have someone tweet a picture of your boobs, I would rather it happen now than any other time because when you are nursing, your boobs look better than ever, bold [and] beautiful.”
Parenting 101 kids.
Home exercise Schwinners and losers
Fitness equipment company, Nautilus, recalled 10,000 elliptical machines for fall hazards. Nine Schwinn 460 units are reported to have detached or broken foot plates, which was a shock to Nautilus because that would require more than one use in the home.
A company spokesperson assured us on the condition of anonymity that the line poses no danger in its popular “coat rack” mode, though allowing dust to settle can trigger allergies.
Slitherin’ around the Christmas tree
We’re supposed to have dominion over the animals, according to God, but let’s face it, animals don’t take dominion very easily. So it makes sense that the animals, while defying us humans, are also out to defy God.
And now they’re attacking Christmas, once again. An Idaho family was a bit more than surprised when they found a snake slithering around their Christmas tree. They had decorated it and everything, and the serpent, probably a tool of the devil, managed to go unnoticed until their baby attempted to hit it.
No word on what kind of a snake it was, or what happened, but luckily, the family is safe and sound. Perhaps they should pray to St. Patrick this holiday season.
(He drove the snakes out of Ireland, for you non-Catholics.)