Whenever I approach a new year, I like to take stock of what I survived. I like to think of myself less as a time traveler stuck in forward linear motion at an uninterruptible rate and more of a time warrior, cleaning out the runners of my time sword as I prepare to skewer another year.
So, here’s an entirely subjective list of what went right and wrong in 2011 before greeting Bolon Yokte as an old friend at midnight, Jan. 1. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Pros and cons of surviving 2011
New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that, despite the city’s best efforts, you just can’t kill off a New Yorker infestation. “Babies born in New York City in 2009 can expect to live on average 80.6 years, roughly 2-1/2 years more than the most recently reported national rate of 78.2 years,” the mayor told members of the press, ruefully shaking his head.
It was hoped that, by shortening human lifespans, this research would lead to a cure for the city’s bed bug problem — a plan that animal rights activists hailed as a fun exercise in role reversal. Alas, all of the Mayor Bloomberg’s initiatives, “including bans on public smoking and the use of trans-fats in restaurants,” have only resulted in more New Yorkers living longer neurotic lives.
“If you want to live longer and healthier than the average American, then come to New York City,” the mayor said before distributing cyanide capsules and pistols to his staff. “Me? I want off this merry-go-round, and I’ll do the same for anyone else.”
Oh, sorry, that was our attempt to create a Fox News-esque headline. Here’s our attempt at an MSNBC style headline: “Obama nears boosting of IT-economy.” Meh.
Here’s what we’re trying to communicate to you: online gambling in the U, S and A is this much closer to being a legal reality. The Wire Act of 1961, the greatest tool of the Department of Justice for quite some time, has been given a clarification.
The new interpretation, by the department’s Office of Legal Counsel, said the Wire Act applies only to bets on a “sporting event or contest,” not to a state’s use of the Internet to sell lottery tickets to adults within its borders or abroad.
This is a good thing. It’s being touted as a win by the Obama Administration. If it’s true, here’s the headline we should probably use: “Always Bet On Black.”
Another day, another study telling us that drinking is good for your health.
A new study found that non-drinkers overall have more health problems than moderate drinkers, and that includes people who drink more than just wine. That means that if your drink of choice isn’t wine, and we really hope it isn’t, there’s no problem.
You can tip back that pint or shot glass and know that you’ll reach life’s finish line well after those teetotalers do.
