The Niña, the Pinta and the — Santa María, that burns!
Posted on December 30, 2011
Filed Under It Must Be Science!, Sex Sells | 1 Comment |
It’s been nearly 65 years since Alphonse “Scarface” Capone died in Alcatraz in the middle of a then-historic sentence of 11 years for tax evasion. It was the best authorities could do since they couldn’t convict him of the many murders, racketeering and bootlegging that had been attributed over the years. But, it looks like somebody dished out a little prison justice, sapping Capone’s physical and mental faculties with chronic syphilis. And that someone? Christopher Columbus.
Scientists believe they have found evidence that proves the controversial “discoverer” of the New Wyrlde also brought home a scorching case of the clap, then unknown in the Olde Wyrlde. It spread quickly from sailors in port towns because, well, that’s what they do earl-eye in the mornin’.
So, there you have it. Chris Columbus redeems himself the teensiest-tiniest bit, Al Capone dies embarrassingly of venereal disease and Native Americans get some revenge for those small pox blankets. Happy Friday? Happy Friday.
Written by Rick SneeComments
One Response to “The Niña, the Pinta and the — Santa María, that burns!”
Leave a Reply
[...] Columbus invented mercantilism. He took raw syphilis from the New World back to Europe, where they refined it into the brain-eating sex parasite we all know and love today, then sold it [...]