Day: January 4, 2012

Take it from Snee: Cleaning out the language gutters for 2012

Every year, Michigan’s Lake Superior University and I like to take stock of the English language. The school lets students nominate words that they feel have become misused, overused and cliché, and the winners are compiled into a list for your banishment consideration. This is a valuable lesson in democracy in which students learn that they can make nominations and cast votes, while a college has the liberty of overriding their decision.

I refer to this act as “cleaning out the language gutters,” which should be performed yearly lest they fill with water and gunk, and then freeze and burst. After all, if I wanted to persist with a language full of ridiculous words, I would have continued taking Spanish in college. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Cleaning out the language gutters for 2012

Don’t let him eat cake

LeBron James 27th birthday should be fit for a king, or, at least, a self-claimed king. But according to all the king’s men, the cake a Miami area bakery was asked to make for James, in order to get publicity, just didn’t cut it.

We’re assuming that James ate three quarters of the cake, but didn’t have the stomach to finish the fourth.

The Iowa Republican Caucus Results

The results from the Iowa Republican Caucus are in!

1. Mitt Romney won with 24.6 percent of the vote, proving that you get more bees with vanilla because you never know which bees are allergic to nuts.

2. Rick S@ntorum (SFW spelling) came in a close second, but he’s the only candidate of the top three to not make the Virginia primary ballot. This could spell trouble due to the state’s longstanding policy of existing “for lovers, just — you know — not like that.”

3. Ron Paul finished third, only three percentage points behind the two leaders. He celebrated by throwing another ghost writer under the bus.

4. Newt Gingrich leads the bottom of the pack, which Newt explained makes sense since winning votes is not a popularity contest like for “senior class president.” He still plans to score the prom queen’s panties before Nov. 2, though, just to be safe.

5. Rick Perry just barely made it into double digits, which he proudly counted with both hands.

6. Michele Bachmann was last candidate to finish with full percentage points. She has suspended her campaign to harass gays at home.

7. John Huntsman manage to edge out Herman Cain, Buddy Roemer, “meh” and “none of the above” despite skipping Iowa to campaign in New Hampshire.

Results came from Google, courtesy of the AP.

Wearing less gets you more

Crazy sales by retail outlets aren’t exactly unheard of. Now, I’m not exactly talking about Black Friday. I’m talking about the crazy sales that involve pre-buying stipulations. Maybe you need to show up to the store in a duck costume. Maybe you need to take part in a scavenger hunt. Perhaps there’s a treasure box that only your key can open.

Or, you can be like the Desigual store in Spain and offer a free top and bottom to the first 100 customers that show up in just their underwear. Oh, and I should mention this took place on Monday, so it’s kinda cold.

Also, so that you know, the link may possibly be Not Safe For Work, as there are lots of people in their skivvies, the majority of which are dudes. In their skimpy skivvies. That have potentially decided to not let the cold affect their, um … reputation.

Enter the zombees

The threat posed by animals is very much like that posed in a zombie invasion scenario, there’s more of them than us, and there’s just no reasoning with them. But what’s worse is when animals become zombies, specifically, bees.

A parasite detected in several bee colonies in California causes a bee turn into a zombie and leave the hive and start flying toward bright lights. Sure, they aren’t real zombies because they don’t feast on the flesh of fellow bees, but it’s pretty close. These zombees are part of the reason why there’s an ongoing shortage of bee colonies across the country.

Also, this isn’t the first time we’ve heard about zombie insects. Our prediction is that we find zombie praying mantises next.