Day: January 18, 2012

Take it from Snee: That’s a wrap

The Internet is up in arms over the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and PIPA. PIPA is actually an acronym and abbreviation within an abbreviation: the PROTECT IP Act — or the Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act — proving just how much thought the U.S. Senate puts into naming bills after minor British nobility over drafting applicable commonsense laws.

But, in all the hoopla, did we miss the passage of an even more dangerous law to the Internet?

The Los Angeles City Council voted 9-to-1 in favor of an ordinance that would strip film permits from porn producers whose actors don’t wear condoms. Los Angeles already requires adult actors to wear condoms, but this new ordinance provides an enforcement measure (unless they use they safe word).

I’ll admit it’s tempting to require adult actors to wear condoms at all times. As an Internet writer, I’m always shopping for new pants, and frankly, I’m tired of smell-checking inside the crotch before putting them on. If I smell something off — like whatever Astroglide smells like (not that I’d know) — I quietly put them back on the rack. But, if I smell Durex, well, that’s like New Pants Smell, and my only remaining complaint is how skinny jeans make me a sexual hazard in the workplace.

Life isn’t that simple, however, and neither are movies. Continue reading Take it from Snee: That’s a wrap

Perry loses critical Thanksgiving endorsement

Not satisfied with letting Newt Gingrich offend the entire African-American community here in the U.S., Texas Gov. Rick Perry set his sites higher and offended an entire country.

Perhaps considering its own run in the Republican presidential primary, Turkey condemned attacks by Gov. Perry at the recent South Carolina GOP debate. He accused the country of “being ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists,” and suggested the best way to remedy that is to cut off their foreign aid.

It should be noted that foreign aid to Turkey was originally part of the Marshall Plan to repair their post-World War II economy and stop the spread of communism, which should prompt Republican voters to ask why Perry is soft on communism.

Father in name only

To quote The Family Guy, “He’s a phony!”

Kind of. Trent Arsenault, the man who we told you about being a super-dad, is only halfway there to being a dad. It would seem that Arsenault has yet to actually consummate anything with a woman, despite being the tender age of 36. His freelance sperm donations are so VERY freelance.

Confused? Highlight this article, and write your congressperson today.

Fight SOPA.

Man’s strength over the animals has always been technology

If you’re stopping by because Wikipedia is blacked out, good luck on that term paper.

Critics of social media say that we’re handing over our private information to companies without so much as a hint of wanting something in return. The tin-foil crowd says that The Man uses smartphones and apps to track our every move.

Isn’t it about time we started using all this evil technology for something good?

The Marine Conservation Science Institute thinks so. (We find allies in strange places.) They’ve released an app that allows you to track the movement of 22 different great white sharks. How have we not thought of doing this before? We use the people who want to save animals and the technology they use to learn more about their movements, and then track our beastly foes down to their nests.

Sharks don’t have nests, though.