Day: January 20, 2012

You Missed It: Player hating edition

SOPA is dead, it seems. The sponsors of SOPA and PIPA have announced they are delaying votes on their bills until there is a better consensus on the issues at hand. Whatever that means. In any case, the internet can go back to being it’s sarcastic, nostalgic, porn-happy self. So once again, the internet beats Hollywood and the music industry. If you were busy abandoning the cruise ship you ran aground, odds are you missed it.

Swingin’ Gingrich
Marianne Gingrich made her ex-husband, Newt, look even worse this week, by dropping the bombshell that he wanted to have an open marriage. Apparently this is worse than asking your wife for a divorce when she’s recovering from cancer treatments in the hospital. Mitt Romney doesn’t see what the big deal is, you can have more than one wife, right?

Equal time rule
A year away from inauguration day, and President Barack Obama is out on the campaign trail. He’s raising funds right now, and he’ll do just about anything for your money. At The Apollo yesterday, he noted that Rev. Al Green was in the audience, and did his own version of “Let’s Stay Together,” well a few bars of it, anyway. And he’s got the chops for it, too. Get excited for his campaign stops in Texas, where he’s sure to sing “Red Solo Cup.”

The end begins with solar flares
I sincerely hope you enjoy your weekend, because it may be the last you ever see. On Thursday, the Sun let off a big sunspot that should hit us on Sunday. Of course, scientists are saying that there will be only minimal effects felt here on Earth. But those are scientists, they’re not going to tell us we’re all going to die. At the very least, we’re all getting super powers, mark my words.

Crazy for feeling so lonely when there are so many of us

As we prepare for the weekend, we leave you with this thought: is America going crazy? And we don’t mean in that general “oh my god, indefinite detention” or “unchecked tax-dollars spending” way, but legitimately bats%@t crazy?

Consider the case of what doctors are calling mass hysteria in a small town outside Buffalo, NY. 12 teenage girls from LeRoy Junior-Senior High School started displaying Tourettes-like symptoms of tics, stutters and shaking. The New York Department of Health has ruled out any infection, communicable disease, environmental factor or Justin Bieber proximity. And the parents are responding in a manner consistent with raising stressed out, mentally unstable teen girls: by calling the doctors liars on national television.

Then there are the results of the annual National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which indicate that 20 percent of American adults suffer some sort of mental illness, and 5 percent are cuckoo for seriously disrupting work, family or social life (and for Cocoa Puffs, but like in a Lizzie Borden/obsessive way).

If, after reading those stories, you started to wonder if your boss is a psychopath, then lucky you, for CNN has posted a handy, very scientific quiz online. And when you’re done, go ahead and print the results and send them to Human Resources. It’s not psycho to want your boss’ office if you prove they’re more psychotic.

So, are they Greenbucks or Boros Bucks?

At the college that all four men at SG went to, Radford University, we were able to put money on an account connected to our student ID called Highlander Cash. Highlander Cash could be used all around campus and a few local establishments, but not a ton of them. Because, let’s be honest, nothing truly beats the real thing.

It would seem that the city of Greensboro, North Carolina, might disagree with that notion.

A bank local to the area and multiple businesses will soon be accepting a form of currency exclusive to Greensboro and Greensboro alone. Not only that, but the tender will come in the form of printed paper. It’s not been named yet, but we suggest Fun Buckz.

The constitution bans governments from making coins, but they can create paper currency.

So this doesn’t mean that Greensboro has become treasonous and will turn into their own sovereign city country?

The War on Plant-like Animals

Generally, we think of plants as non-combatants in the War on Animals. But like any fighting force using guerrilla tactics, the animals attack then slip into the community of non-combatants.

So the next time you’re in a park and feel safe, remember: that might not be grass.

Scientists recently found evidence of an animal that looked like a tulip that lived 500 million years ago. It was sort of shaped like a bulb and sat in groups on the sea floor, probably waiting for humans to evolve and then invent scuba gear, so they could eat us.

If that was 500 million years ago, imagine how many plant-looking animals there are today. We have no choice but to begin the War on Plants.