Day: January 25, 2012

Take it from Snee: As Seen in the Paleolithic

Foolish as it may seem, I don’t believe everything I see in commercials. For instance, when InventHelp says that the guy who invented the Splash Wash, a car wash for kids, by watching children play, I find it hard to believe he wasn’t masturbating at the time. Or that the woman’s whose hair is blown permanently back by the Trojan Vibrating Twister isn’t held there with semen.

But, there’s one idea that completely stretches my brain’s capacity for hogwash (which is another use for the Splash Wash, by the way), and it’s that modern man has just now solved the problems inherent in wearing a blanket.

The Snuggie and the Forever Lazy aren’t bad ideas, though. To the contrary, I long for the day when I can wear the poncho I was given to keep warm in a Tijuana jail cell to work. No, what’s nearly impossible to fathom is that these products are awarded patents for what humanity already accomplished in the Paleolithic Era.

Granted, it’s not uncommon for society to forget previous innovations, like trepanning, a medical practice dating back to the beginning of human history that pops up every time a doctor wants a license for drilling holes in people’s heads.

The Snuggie and the Forever Lazy follow the same path, starting way back in the Ice Age … Continue reading Take it from Snee: As Seen in the Paleolithic

It’s a pairing old as time

Hot dogs and booze have been together since the dawn of time. In Germany, schnitzel and super beer are served together. Over in Italy, wine is served with everything, including an afternoon hot dog. Japan’s got sake-dogs. Russians are 38 percent vodka-based, so when they have a hot dog (or really, anything), they just bleed a little and it’s now infused with alcohol. Now, Canada gets to get into the action.

A Vancouver location has decided to create their own pair of hot dogs and booze … except, at the same time. Literally. DougieDog Hot Dogs’ has managed to infuse a bratwurst with century-old cognac, among other things (Kobe beef, lobster and truffle oil, to name a few). These are high-end items and it happens to have a high-end price as well: 100 dollars (though it’s not been said whether that’s Canadian or United States).

Yowch, talk about a bite in the dogs.

Saddam is still a tricky one

The Iranians, the Kurd, the Kuwaitis and even the U.S.–at one time they all wanted a piece of Saddam Hussein, but an Englishman just got in trouble for actually owning a piece of him, or at least his statue, the ass part.

Remember back in 2003, when those U.S. Marines toppled that statue of Saddam as a crowd cheered? Apparently an employee of a former U.K. special forces soldier wound up with it, which happens to be illegal. His story is that the soldier saw that the statue was being melted down, and decided to grab Saddam’s ass. It then came into his employee’s hands, who then tried to sell it, a big no-no.

He may be dead and gone, but the Saddam had an ass that some would go to jail for.