The McBournie Minute: Why the Patriots lost the Super Bowl

Most fans think it’s how a game is played that decides the outcome, but Boston-area sports fans know better. They know that it doesn’t matter what happens in the game, it’s what happens outside of it, especially what they themselves do outside of it. The greater-Boston area is filled with people convinced that they tied their shoes the wrong way for Game 7 of the 2003 American League Championship Series, or the World Series loss in 1986, or the massive collapse last season, or the Bruins’ decades without a Cup, even though they always, always made the playoffs. I’m sure that something bad has happened to the Boston Celtics, too.

My point here is that the moment a Boston sports team takes the field, court, ice, pitch, or whatever, it doesn’t matter, because Cousin Sully forgot to wear his lucky hat backwards. Sometimes it’s the people who cover the sports, or the famous people surrounding it, like how Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin'” ruined the New England Patriots’ perfect season. I’ve heard people say that since Kelly Clarkson sang the National Anthem, the Curse of the American Idol Singers continues. That’s crap.

I know what really did it for the Pats last night. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Why the Patriots lost the Super Bowl

Good thing the NFL kept cameras out of the bathroom

Even though the NFL kept its promise to keep Madonna dressed, the Parents Television Council is up-in-arms because of a bird. NBC censored British singer M.I.A.’s international diplomacy — you know, the finger? — but, it was a half-second too late for the steely gaze of the PTC, who can spot a nipple through a metal doily from a wide-out crane shot.

The PTC had no problem with the rest of Madonna’s show where she outgayed the gayest gay that ever gayed. Clearly, this is both a victory for and challenge to the gay community if they can’t offend America’s scrappiest PTA anymore.

It can only get worse from here

In a world like ours where, no matter how slim it is, there’s a chance of having President Donald Trump, President Ron Paul (or for the visual-based people, President Six Flags Dancing Old Man Guy) or even scarier, President Newt (seriously, does he legitimately think that’s a good name for anyone?), someone else has decided to throw a hat into the ring.

Tread carefully, because there is now the possibility of having President Roseanne Barr.

Being of legal age and qualifying under all of the other guidelines, Barr has filed paperwork to become a candidate, hoping to get the Green Party’s nomination. While she has good enough ideas, the concept of replacing meat with nuts is something that SG Towers cannot back.

Oh, and why did we say it can only get worse from here? While it’s only speculation, imagine these words: Vice President Fran Drescher. The White House will be the most noise pollution-filled house ever in the country.

Catwoman vs. Ozzy, who ya got?

The Dark Knight Rises is coming out this summer, and we have the scoop on a previously-unannounced villain! Are you ready for this? It’s Ozzy Osbourne.

He won’t be playing a villain, he is the villain. The sometimes-hero Catwoman, who will also be in the next Batman movie, did battle with an Ozzy impersonator on the streets of Hollywood. She apparently had words with the Prince of Darkness, and warned him about the spray before it happened.