It’s all or nothing in Utah

I want everyone to pay attention to me for a second. Are you sitting down? I think it’s important that you are. Okay, here I go: a logic-defying bill is about to be made a law in the state of Utah. I think I’m just as shocked as you are.

In the great state of Joseph Smith, Utahraptor ostrommaysorum and NBA dunk contest champions, a bill is being passed around that will require sex education classes to teach abstinence-only education. Which is kind of horrifying.

“We’ve been culturally watered down to think we have to teach about sex, about having sex and how to get away with it, which is intellectually dishonest,” [Representative Bill] Wright said, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. “Why don’t we just be honest with them upfront that sex outside marriage is devastating?”

It’s a good thing that opinions are clearly just opinions and not viewed as fact in Utah, right? Nnnnnh, never mind. On the plus side, now we might be able to get a future appearance of one of John Stamos’ character’s kids from his one appearance on Law & Order: SVU.