It’s time to catch-up. How did I do at my picks from last week?
Hit the jump to find out. Also, I’ll give a brief overview of the picks for this glorious month of bad movies. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: Catch-Up
Day: March 1, 2012
Today … in racism
With President Barack Obama’s inauguration in January 2009, you might have thought that was the end of racism in America. Don’t worry, mein klein kampfs: there’s still plenty to go around.
Some of you probably already know closet racists. You know, the uncle that “doesn’t want to be racist” but “some stereotypes are just true.” Montana’s chief federal judge, Richard Cebull, found himself in just that predicament. He didn’t want to be racist, yet he forwarded an admittedly racist email depicting the President being sired by his mother and an animal because “it was a bit touching.” Judge Cebull still claims he’s not a racist, but you can’t run from what the heart feels, your honor.
But, did you know that there are still out and proud racists? Illinois Republican congressional candidate Arthur Jones wants you to know that “this idea that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust is the biggest, blackest lie in history.” That’s right: not only is he a “former” member of the Nationalist Socialist White People’s Party, but he even thinks lies are black, too.
It’s good to know that, despite the promises, not everything is subject to change.
Somehow, the insidious hands of Hasbro are at work
It would seem that the United States Navy has gotten their hands on the scathing documentary known as Battleship. No more will transforming alien robots rise from the sea and besiege our great country!
A bug as big as your hand
We thought that the tree lobsters were killed off more than 80 years ago. We were wrong.
On tiny Lord Howe Island off of Australia, there once lived a race of incredibly large bugs found nowhere else in the world. The large, stick-like bugs were the size of a man’s hand. Then a shipwreck in 1918 allowed rats onto the island, in two years, the tree lobsters were gone. Forty years later, they were considered extinct.
But then just a few years ago, explorers on Ball’s Pyramid, a nearby mountainous spec of land (also the name of Melbourne’s hottest gay night club), found bugs still alive. Australian authorities have since taken a few in and bred them, in hopes of returning the bugs to Lord Howe Island.
It goes without saying here that the Aussies are completely nuts. Not only was this species nearly wiped out, but we didn’t even have to do anything to erase them from existence. Now they want to reintroduce the giant bugs? Get ready for some fat rats on the island.