Gah.
Duh…..gahhhhh.
Reviewing these movies may have been a bad idea. Seriously, this movie nearly broke me. Remind me to never do this again, and I LIKE bad movies.
I now present to you Big Money Rustlas. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Big Money Rustlas’
The latest space-borne threat to the U.S. is nearly upon us: Hollywood Space Madness.
Ashton Kutcher has been approved for space travel on Richard Branson’s first spacecraft, Virgin Galactic. Does Sir Richard not understand the implication of sending a young actor into space, bombarding him with gamma rays and sending him back home to his studio?
We’re talking Joaquin Phoenix times 100 here, people. There aren’t enough late night talk shows to handle that insanity, Craigy Ferguson’s Scottishness notwithstanding.
The New York Jets decided that having one less than average quarterback just wasn’t enough. Well New York, you got done with Linsanity, enter Tebowmania!
Tim Tebow, you know that guy that’s all buddy-buddy with Jesus, was traded from the Denver Broncos to the Jets yesterday, proving once again that John Elway must have something against God.
In more poop-related news …
Today, the Denver Zoo (or as we like to call it, “West Colorado Fur and Scales Penitentiary”) will be unveiling a new machine designed with clean-energy in mind. It’s a vehicle that can transport the employees all over the area. Oh, and it runs on animal feces.
Well, not just animal feces, it also runs on trash. But considering it’ll be used at a zoo, animal dung will be the primary form of fuel. I’m sure the animals have been thinking that they’ve got it sweet: we shelter them, we feed them, they even get showered with attention by tourists and we still have to pick up their crap. The tables have now been turned. Their dirty deeds are now our go-go juice. Better start pooping more and into the proper receptacles, animals, or your usefulness may become limited.
Sup, dudes? With all this coverage of ladies not having a G-spot, yet somehow getting off while exercising, we know you are jealous and probably a little frustrated. We’re here to help.
Not that you have any problems finding your own bliss sexually, but maybe it’s time to spice up your loneliness. Walgreens has your prescription for love, and it needs to be filled. It’s the Tenga Flip Hole! (It’s SFW, don’t worry.) Basically it’s a machine with a hole that has ribs, vibrates and is easy to clean. How much would you pay for this, $89.99? You’re amazingly good at price guessing, but you’re also in luck, because it’s on sale for just $77.99 at Walgreens’ website, with free shipping!
If you’re not sold yet, check out the biggest advantage of the Tenga Flip Hole: “Deliberately not a simple artificial vagina.” You hear that? Vaginas are too simple for the likes of you … and yet apparently elusive, as well.
