Day: March 28, 2012

Take it from Snee: Playing god on a budget

While some of us may have been born into wealth and power, and even fewer of us may claw our way up the ladder to it, the rest of us have to get by with what little material success we’ve scraped together. So, how does one feel better about their station? By applying their arbitrary rules to some self-made underling, usually children.

But, children are expensive. They eat, they break things and they refuse to get a job to pay for either. And of those who do work? Even renting children as actors costs millions of dollars once they get their SAG card.

That’s why I’ve come up with this list of non-children to homeschool into your own slightly-less-than-divine image. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Playing god on a budget

It’s drunk driving while being driven

Scottsdale is not exactly a town known for sports, but we here at SG can’t help but fully support this endeavor. A business that can help jump-start the economy while getting you sloshed, Tour de Tavern is a roving bike seating 16 people that not only gets its patrons from one location to another in town, but it also gives you an adventure that you can tell people about it (if you can remember the night, that is).

“We start and stop right back here at The Lodge and everyone winds up back at their vehicle,” [co-founder Peter] Drubin said. He added if you’re too tipsy to drive, they have a partnership with a nearby hotel to get you a deal. And you can’t “bring your own beer” – yet.

A taxi service that doesn’t smell, provides safety to its occupants, is incredibly cheap, stimulates the economy, is green AND is done in the name of booze-a-hol? This business needs to go national.

Never bring a tire iron to a sword fight

If you see a pirate walking down the street today in uniform, stop and thank him.

A man in Florida learned it’s a bad idea to try stealing plunder from a pirate bar. According to police reports, a 29-year-old man broke into Captain Steamer’s Oyster Bar (motto: “Party like a pirate”) and received quite a shock when a security guard confronted him with, what else, a sword.

Though he was armed with a tire iron, the would-be burglar eventually dropped his weapon while the security guard, Anthony Brisbane, 49, called police. A scuffle then broke out, but the pirate/security guard won, thanks to an assist from a Bud Light bottle, which Brisbane smacked on the intruder’s head.