Day: March 30, 2012

You Missed It: Boys club edition

Women have come a long way. Just a few decades ago, they were barred from the Boston Marathon, then, when we figured out they can’t beat us, we let them run. Now, women are respected as equals to men, not simply objects. And today we celebrate taking women very seriously with National Cleavage Day. No really, the creator of the Wonderbra made it up, it’s mostly an English thing, but I think we can adapt it here in the U.S. If you were busy announcing Anchorman 2 this week, odds are you missed it.

The Green ceiling
Speaking of women and their being taken seriously, did you know that Augusta National Golf Club, home of the Masters PGA tournament, has a “no girls allowed” policy? The club been a sausage fest since day one, but there is now a push to let the ladies become members, as IBM CEO Ginni Rometty happens to be female, and her company happens to be the top sponsor of the tournament. This would be the biggest news since 1997, when they let a black guy in.

The Titanic dump
Titanic will resurface in theaters next week in 3-D, but the real-life wreck still sits at the bottom of the sea. However, it’s now also sitting in a sea of litter, too. Officials say that traffic at the wreck site since its discovery in 1985 has resulted in all sorts of litter being left, including beer cans and plastic cups. I think we are uncovering evidence of the world’s first beer pong game.

Half in the resealable bag
TSA agents are people, too. We find it so easy to demonize them, but they’re really just like the rest of us, as two agents in a Florida hotel proved recently. Police were called to the scene after complaints were made. Officials say they found the two TSA agents drunk, throwing things off the balcony, and shooting a gun into the air — just like we all do on a business trip.

Once an astronaut, always an astronaut?

The Sacramento Superior Court ruled Thursday that Jose Hernandez, a former NASA astronaut who served for two weeks aboard the International Space Station, can list himself as an astronaut on California’s primary election ballot. His occupation listing was challenged by “a Sacramento law firm with ties to top state Republicans,” who maintain that since Hernandez hasn’t been in space or NASA since January 2011, that being a rocket man is no longer his primary occupation.

Considering that only 327 Americans have gone into space since 1961 — and because he is probably a carrier of Space Madness (which we’ve previously warned about) — we’re pretty sure he’s considered an astronaut for the rest of his life. Besides, check out his Wikipedia page: Jose Hernandez (astronaut).

After all, once we sell this site to a Czech communal comedy farm, we’re still going to list ourselves as Guys.

Creationists officially become my new enemies of the week

Ho-boy, creationists just became the top of Chris Taylor’s Poop List. New York City’s Department of Education has announced words that it may ban in all standardized testing for its schools. Two examples are “birthday” and “Halloween,” and don’t get me wrong, those are big words to ban, especially because of potentially offending religions.

But there’s another word that’s being bandied about as being banned and that is an action that cannot be condoned: dinosaur.

EVERY SINGLE BOY BETWEEN THE AGES OF 4 AND 58 LOVES DINOSAURS. Dinosaurs were the most amazing creatures ever as a child. To ban their use, simply to not offend creationists, a form of religion that science has proven to be stupid, is offensive to me.

Make the smart move NYDoE: don’t ban the dinosaur.

Swan on the attack

In the U.K. one swan is taking on anything that comes in his path.

Tyson the swan (apparently they name their swans over there) is terrorizing a two-mile section of the country’s largest canal, swooping in and attacking people in canoes and kayaks. We hear than guns are illegal in the U.K., so unfortunately, this bird’s bullying may be tolerated for some time.