If pandas can’t get laid, what chance do we got?

After years of trying to get pandas to get it on in captivity to mixed results, researchers believe they’ve found the problem: female panda bears are only in the mood one to three days a year.

To cope, male pandas’ testes go into hibernation until the four month mating period. At that point, they go sex nuts and, in the wild, traverse over great distances to hopefully reach a female before she changes her mind. The male can then instantly sense if she’s consenting, and, if she’s not, will hold off advances until he gets a “yes.”

If The Guys could offer a suggestion to the male, it might not be that she’s not into sex, but just disappointed in what showed up. (You, for instance.) Sometimes, you have to woo a lady, show that while you may not be a strapping grizzly she normally goes for, you’ve got qualities that she never knew she wanted. Also, nobody ever went wrong with Al Green.

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Rick Snee

Through his writing for SeriouslyGuys, Rick Snee has alternately been accused of being: a liberal, a conservative, three different spellings of "moron," some old grump, a millennial know-nothing and -- on one occasion -- a grave insult to a minor deity in some obscure pantheon (you probably haven't heard of it). Really, he's just one of The Guys, y'know?

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