It’s taken a few years to gain steam, but the zombie preparedness movement is finally in full swing.
One enterprising gun enthusiast has been selling specialty zombie targets and ammunition for practice. The paper targets can be equipped with squibs that will either run or squirt blood when shot. His biggest sellers? Your run of the mill teen girl, “Becky,” who was probably zombified mid-texting, and “Zombiladin,” who has already faced down Navy Seals, steel-jawed dogs, crabs and swimmer’s ear to retake Manhattan.
An the Philippines has embraced the zombie run, in which participants run a 5K fraught with zombies who crave flags. One zombie participant lures in runners by dancing to “Thriller,” training future survivalists to resist to draw of zombie flash mobs.
But, aren’t we really training future zombies? After all, with the exception of Bin Ladin, it’s not like zombies just appear out of nowhere. They’re your friends and neighbors, which is what makes them truly terrifying. If you really want to prepare for the Zombipocalypse, take notes on the living. If they don’t bring back your hedge trimmer, then you know your brains are next.