Day: May 7, 2012

The McBournie Minute: Farts of doom

Today, we see burping and farting as a necessary and hilarious occurrence, but there was a time when doing such a thing could get you killed. Sure, going back in human history it’s easy to find examples of where passing gas was something considered extremely rude, but everyone does it, which is part of why it’s so funny.

One pictures the Victorian era as very proper and buttoned-up, but in reality, Queen Victoria loved fart jokes. One can picture the Founding Fathers sitting around in taverns, plotting how to kick the Brits out of their territory, their mood grim and their tones firm but hushed, left someone hear. Then someone lets out a huge burp and everyone erupts with laughter.

But for the dinosaurs, burps and farts were no laughing matter. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Farts of doom

It’s definitely no condom-balloon

I’m a guy. I’ll readily admit that I’m not an overly-intelligent guy. I don’t have multiple degrees or advanced degrees in science. I’ll also readily admit that I’m not entirely sure how women work. At the risk of this being read and I become lynched, I”ll just say that women have “special abilities” that I don’t understand.

That said, I don’t know, maybe a tampon stuffed with cocaine could work pretty well. I won’t sit here and pretend to say that it’s a good idea, but I won’t necessarily destroy it either. Apparently Cindy Davidson of Salt Lake City thought it was a bad idea. I mean, yes, it probably is a bad thing to be exposed to when your aunt comes to visit, but until there are studies confirming that, I can’t guarantee it. So there.

OHGODTHISISTHELONGESTIVEEVERTALKEDABOUTPMSANDIDONTWANTTODOTHATAGAIN

Falling off bar stools is never a good idea

Wouldn’t it be great if there existed a bar stool you would just drive you home when you’re done drinking for the evening? One man in Indiana had the foresight on this one, but it ended up costing him.

A 53-year-old man was driving his motorized bar stool, but ended up losing control of his contraption. He had a minor head injury and some scrapes. Police say he wasn’t drunk at the time, which kind of seems like a waste.