Day: May 11, 2012

You Missed It: Spoke too soon edition

Apparently the Mayan calendar gives us a lot more time before the end of the world, some researcher said recently. I think that’s great, because I’d like to live past this year, but at the same time, now I really feel dumb for selling all my possessions since I won’t need them. If you were busy getting accused of hitting on dudes giving you massages this week, odds are you missed it.

Obama, Biden have a big announcement
This week, President Barack Obama came out. Yes, he came out in favor of gay marriage this week in a public announcement that has drawn cheers from some and hisses from others. Obama didn’t plan to make the announcement any time soon, but Vice President Joe Biden forced his hand when he accidentally outed him during an interview over the weekend. I wish those crazy kids all the best.

Don’t like the weather? Blame the government
Prince Charles and his wife Camilla each gave the weather report on BBC Scotland this week. The future king told his minions subjects that most of Scotland is going to be getting rain. There you have it, America, the royals do have jobs.

Because boobs are too mystical to replicate
Japanese researchers have created what they call a robotic buttocks that reacts to spanking. So let the record show that when the Terminators were build, they started with the ass first.

Air Force succumbs to Skynet persuasion, dooms us all

Most people think that the military would be our last line of defense. Be careful with that line of thinking-it could end us.

The United States Air Force has sent the X-37B, a secret unmanned space plane into the great beyond. Its mission? That’s classified (we can only hope that it was zapping ET), but apparently it was a raging success. What won’t be a success is when the space plane kills us all.

Oh sure, Chris is just ranting and raving his wild theories again, right? Well then, tell me this college boy: what’s to stop the space plane when it does gain a murderous and brutal sentience? What’s that, no answer? I’ll tell you what’s to stop it: us.

Someone, get me my off-button gloves.

Mickey supports the Second Amendment

The Transportation Security Administration may not be a favorite of many, but one has to think that the agents themselves have some pretty good stories. Then there are times when it’s tough to tell who is right.

In Rhode Island, a man and his little son were stopped by TSA agents after an X-ray scan showed that inside the kid’s three Disney stuffed toys were pieces of a firearm that could be assembled and loaded at any time. This is not the sort of thing TSA likes to see on a plane. The man, however, claims that he had no idea that the gun pieces where inside of Mickey and his friends.

This could be true. Perhaps it was the little boy who hid them in there. After all, who would be dumb enough to think that putting metal objects inside of stuffed animals could keep them from X-ray machines than a small child, or, say, an incredibly stupid man.