Day: June 19, 2012

Eat My Sports: Have another donut, Roger

The Steroid Era seemingly came to an end yesterday as Roger Clemens beat out charges from the goverment that he took performance enhancing drugs. As soon as it was public knowledge that Clemens was clear, the immediate debate amongst every single sports outlet was “is Clemens a Hall of Famer?” And the simple answer is this, no.

Whether Clemens was actually convicted is irrelevant, the court of public opinion was able to see things about Clemens that the government simply was just unable to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. Like How was Clemens washed up after 192 wins in Boston, and completely done, yeat during his second and third tours with the AL East, was able to become a better pitcher in his 30s and 40s than he ever was in his “prime?” Continue reading Eat My Sports: Have another donut, Roger

Shot through the head, and you’re to blame

Doctors and staff from the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Hospital and the Army Trauma Training Center are declaring one lucky young man’s recovery from a spear to the head nothing short of “a miracle,” adding that — now that he’s OK — the injury itself really raises the bar on 1970s Steve Martin impersonations.

Let it never be said that medical professionals don’t understand the principal of “too soon.”

Heart attacks, being shivved, sandwiches, all the proper reasons for calling 911

A man in East Hartford decided that the best way to get his sandwiches made the exact way he wanted was by calling 911.

Yup.

“I specifically asked for a little turkey and a little ham and a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise and they’re giving me a hard time,” Rother McLennon told a 911 dispatcher Wednesday.

The dispatcher, Heather Clayton, incredulously asked, “You’re calling 911 because you don’t like the way that they’re making your sandwich?”

While at a deli, the man asked for 14 sandwiches to be made with a lesser amount of meat, but adding on the cheese, hopefully lessening the price. This resulted in him requesting to use the in-deli phone to call emergency services over it. Despite this, no charges were filed. I feel like the cops may be missing out on an easy way to fatten the city’s pockets and teach someone a lesson.

The crappiest hotels

Think you’re going to stay at a hotel during your big summer vacation? Think again, unless of course, you like poop.

Researchers at the University of Houston swabbed 19 hotel rooms and found that 81% of them had E. coli, that bacteria that comes from poop. Doorknobs, remote controls, phones, headboard and more were tested, and there was crap on most of it. The only reasonable conclusion that can be drawn here is that Texans don’t wash their hands.

But this blog doesn’t let reason hold us down. Folks, every single hotel you visit is contaminated. There’s no escaping it, you are knee-deep in fecal coliform. Sleep tight!