Hey, there are limits, we know. But not for this guy. Not once he takes his meds. And this is his tale. A tall one at that.
Limitless is an admittedly limited but fascinating what-if thriller, a pharmaceutical fantasy about being all you can be without joining the military. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Limitless’
Of all the right-to-death advocates in the animal kingdom, the whale is by far the largest. It frequently beaches itself and laughs silently as hippies try to “rescue” it. Science is still unsure exactly why whales beach themselves, but The Guys know. They do it to ruin your summer.
We’re currently in the 6-8-week period where it’s actually tolerable living in Canada. However, for the metric dozens of citizens planning trips to Sandy Cove Beach in Nova Scotia, vacations were ruined by a single kamikaze whale. For over a month, a whale carcass was rotting on the beach, stinking up the joint, and no one did a thing about it. The hosers in the provincial government couldn’t get a plan together.
The whale was finally buried this week, but the damage is done. The whales clearly know how to make our lives miserable, even when we want to get away from it all. There may be no escape.
The principal of Dorchester, Massachusetts, Roger Clapp School (seriously, that explains all of NOTHING) lost a bet to his students. As such, he had to dress up as Lady Gaga.
This means he’s a knock-off of Lady Gaga, who is a knock-off of Madonna. This trait of being a knock-off of a knock-off firmly places him in the territory of potentially being sold at Big Lots.
Is it just us, or has science pulled a Sandra Dee, all showing up to NASCAR in black vinyl, heels and teased hair while putting out a cigarette? First, they presented evidence that supports letting pregnant women drink, even going so far to say that binging doesn’t really hurt your child. And now? Salad doesn’t work without fatty-fatty-fat-fat salad dressing.
Researchers at Purdue University found that fats in salad dressing increase the amount of carotenoids — or nutrient compounds like lycopene and beta-carotene — absorbed into the blood stream. Without sufficient fats, the good parts just pass right through you.
Or, because we never pass up the opportunity to make an analogy: your insides are the wall of a barn. If you just throw salad at that wall without a thick enough dressing, it just slides right off. But with a thick, creamy layer of Hidden Valley ranch, it sticks to your barn, which will now have better eyesight. (We grew up in the suburbs and, consequently, do not know how barns work.)
This is all well and good, but you do realize, science, that there is no winning morons back, right? They’re still mad about the whole evolution thing and how you wouldn’t go all the way with them at the drive-in.
