Day: July 9, 2012

The McBournie Minute: The Brits just pissed off Batman

There is nothing left to believe in, dear reader. Science is out to prove us all our fantasies impossible, rather than deliver those flying cars they’ve been promising for at least two generations. Sure, they recently told us that the Higgs boson, whatever that is, exists, and they’ve also been bringing us some pretty awesome shots of Mars, but they’ve done so much worse.

I’m speaking of course about U.K. physics students saying that no one, not even Batman himself, could successfully land is cape-glider thing used in Batman Begins. They say in a paper no doubt timed to coincide with the release of The Dark Knight rises, that Bruce Wayne would have been able to glide just fine, but the landing would have occurred at 50 mph, a deadly speed for anyone not from Krypton.

Can’t wait for science to tell us in a couple years that having half your face burned off would actually kill you, not make you evil. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The Brits just pissed off Batman

Science: bacterium that eats arsenic? Inconceivable!

Back in 2010, scientists were excited by what appeared to be the discovery of a bacterium, GFAJ-1, that not only lives in an environment rife with arsenic, but also eats that arsenic and uses it to survive instead of phosphorus. It would have been the first lifeform ever discovered that lives on anything outside of the six “building blocks” of life: oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, phosphorus and sulfur.

However, it was not meant to be. Two new studies have proven conclusively that GFAL-1 was still getting enough phosphorus to survive and had merely developed an immunity to arsenic. Alas, it is not the arsenic-drinking monster that we thought might have finally cured our Sicilian kidnapper problem.

Bringing tacos to the taco-less

A couple weeks ago, the people of Bethel, Alaska were depressed beyond belief after news of a Taco Bell being built there turned out to be a hoax. This is an important story, because Taco Bell is extremely important for all life.

Last week, there was much to rejoice about, because Taco Bell flew in 100,000 tacos for town’s people to enjoy for free, yes, free. After killing the tacos, citizens then gave a collective “Was that really worth it?” and reminded themselves to pick up some toilet paper on the way home.