Turns out “The Simpsons” were right with that three-eyed fish of theirs. Record levels of radiation were found in fish near a Fukushima power plant.
No word yet as to whether the Key Atomic Benefits Office Of Mankind has a statement.
Day: August 22, 2012
The end times are nigh
It was a fun run and all, but it’s time for the world to end. Avril Lavigne has been chosen as the vessel for Chad Kroeger’s seed, and their resulting offspring, the Beast, shall trumpet forth the end times with a song so mediocre that the rivers shall turn red with blood, the dead shall rise and four horsemen representing death, pestilence, famine and war shall ride in to end it.
So, it turns out Canada has a role to play in history after all.
The walkers are going for the White House
They may not be alive, but they are still political animals. For years, we’ve documented zombies trying to take over our democratic republic by holding the electoral process hostage, but we’ve never seen such a brazen attempt.
The zombies are running one of their own for president. Mr. A. Zombie (no relation to Rob) is running on a pro-zombie platform, along with his runningmate Noah Pulse. Nice try, walkers, but John Kerry’s defeat in 2004 proves that the American voter will always choose the candidate who is still human.
At least he’s got a sweet obit coming his way
Vic Kleman is a big fan of Jack Rabbit, a roller coaster at Kennywood Park. Vic Kleman really likes roller coasters.
Vic Kleman is 80 years old.
Vic Kleman celebrated his 80 years old birthday by taking 80 roller coaster rides. In a row.
If Vic Kleman is alive for his 81st birthday, then he has officially gained the ability to rule over us all by rite of natural selection.