Day: September 5, 2012

Take it from Snee: Women see mysteriously

Women are a mystery that have perplexed great minds, from Steven Hawking to male Congressmen and, finally, myself. I’ve spent the better part of a year trying to get down to the bottom of the Other Gender (without implying that they’re fat). And, every time I think I’ve got them just about figured out, another question comes up.

So, it’s once more unto the breach, my friends. That is, until that breach secretes hormones to shut us down. Welcome to part three of “Women are Mysterious,” in which I take into account new scientific research that indicates that women even see differently from men …  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Women see mysteriously

Ninja treachery finally put to good use

Ninjas. Not since 1991 have they been used for good. Sadly, in the past 21 years, they’ve only been used for the forces of evil. Well no longer!

A theater in England will now be using a ninja task force in order to keep the movie-going experience quiet and orderly. As a fan of both ninjas and movies, I wholeheartedly support such a notion and hope it makes its way across the pond to our great shores.

Except for the potential of molestation thing. That’s kind of creepy. But hey, ninjas gotta be ninjas, right?

We could use a drink after reading this

New research indicates that heavy drinkers may have a harder time recovering from traumatic events. Not only that, but they’re also more likely to experience them because, you know, booze.

The University of North Carolina School of Medicine study consisted of two groups of mice — one that had been drinking very heavily and one that silently judged the drinkers and hoped they would die in a car crash. Each were exposed to a certain sound, accompanied by electrical shocks.

After a while, the scientists backed off on the shocks, merely playing the sound that the mice had come to associate with the wrath of God or, at the very least, Emperor Palpatine. The non-drinking mice recovered quickly, no longer fearing the sound. Meanwhile, the boozing mice still feared the sound and froze every time it played.

We’re dubbing this the Chumbawamba Effect.

Pardon me, admiral, but the lady was next for the piss pot

We think of yacht clubs as exclusive and pretentious. They are filled with older white people with enough money to own a yacht, but not enough to come up with better ways of making themselves feel important. Yet they still have class. In Ohio, that’s simply not true.

OK, well the classy part isn’t true, the rest of it is dead-on. A yacht club meeting outside of Cleveland (a city known for its timeless class) erupted into a massive fight involving seven people. Countless captain’s hats were trampled upon, and there’s a good chance that some monocles were even broken.

The reason for the fisticuffs: a portable toilet.