You know what’s a horrible prank to play on a friend? Call up the authorities and say that your friend, who is currently flying to Texas, has a bomb on board. The authorities, don’t tend to like that, and neither do the people on the plane. If you were busy celebrating the end of political conventions this week, odds are you missed it.
Bunch of jackasses
The Democrats held their national convention in Charlotte, N.C. this week, where to the surprise of many, President Barack Obama was renominated for the White House. There were many highlights of the event, but the most shocking came when Obama, clearly trying to rekindle the feeling in 2000, made out with Tipper Gore.
Get ready for random mentions of Subway restaurants
This week, it was announced that at last Kelly Ripa had found the man to round out her life. Sure, she’d done her share of hopping from guy to guy as she reeled from her break-up, but at long last, she’s found a man to replace her longtime partner, Regis Philbin. Michael Strahan, the New York Giants defensive end. This move makes sense, because during his NFL career, he was known to psych-out opponents with long, boring stories about what he and his imaginary wife Joy did over the weekend.
America loses its Papa Bear
Actor Michael Clarke Duncan died this week from complications related to the heart attack he suffered earlier this summer. In more upbeat news, Tom Hanks’ urinary tract infection finally cleared up.